Just SO FREAKING TIRED OF IT ALL!

[Beaux]

[COLOR="Blue"][SIZE="3"]Hey Guys and Gals,
As some of you may remember, my husband and I got back together last year. As far as our relationship is concerned, things are going swimmingly; HOWEVER, he is stationed (thru the military) in South Carolina and due to the local attitudes regarding same sex relationships, I am experiencing some real troubles finishing my degree.
I only have 1 and 1/2 semesters left to graduate, and I had no problems being accepted into the college during the summer session, but (naturally) I applied for the fall semester as well and have come head-to-head with the admissions staff. The details are varied and demoralizing; I will simply sum up the attitudes I have been dealing with by quoting the woman I spoke to yesterday in the Office of Student Residency: "How could someone like YOU afford a house (in that area)?". Followed by (when I hesitantly explained that, though none of her business, my husband and I have a considerable joint income) "He is NOT your HUSBAND, whatever you two are playing at, it isn't a real relationship. You could be prosecuted for filing your taxes like this you know? It's illegal for two men to claim they constitute a house hold." She said with a smug smile. She went ON to inform me that she would be seeking to have me removed from school before the next summer session starts.
I am so upset right now. My husband has an appointment to see our lawyer on Monday, but to be perfectly honest, I am SICK TO DEATH of having to fight for EVERYTHING ALL THE TIME! We are ALREADY considering (at our lawyers advice) engaging in a lawsuit relating to things I can't speak publicly about (but are related to a Federal Mandate that went into effect this year) and now I have to fight just to finish school?!? I am just SO FUCKING TIRED...Idk how much more of this I can do.[/SIZE][/COLOR]

[mrk2010]

The question is what is the actual legality of this issue? Is there actually some law saying two men do not constitute a household?

[BeautifulBlue]

Oh fuck. I am SO sorry.

Fuck that bitch and her saying two men can't constitute a household. I don't know the laws, but I know your lawyer does, and he/she will make sure the two of you are in good hands.

So sorry to hear this. Keep us updated on how things go if you can. I hate to hear you two are going through something so horrible.

[Beaux]

The question is what is the actual legality of this issue? Is there actually some law saying two men do not constitute a household?

No, in that she is just a missinformed bigot; one who, unfortunately, has the ability to make my life miserable. The issue at hand, rather, is that my husband makes almost 10X the income I make, SO (due to the way our estates are set up) our accountant filed our taxes jointly with me as his dependent (as he pays over 50% of our acquired debts); now, if we had been a man/woman couple nothing would have been said, but (even though I am paying out of pocket for my education; we make far too much for me to ever get student loans) the school requires that I supply them with a copy of our income tax forms with my application for the fall semester. On the basis of those forms, listing me as dependent, they don't recognize me as his dependent, so the woman says: "As far as the school is concerned, you don't exist. We can't admit a student that doesn't exist, now can we?".:mad:

[Beaux]

Oh fuck. I am SO sorry.

Fuck that bitch and her saying two men can't constitute a household. I don't know the laws, but I know your lawyer does, and he/she will make sure the two of you are in good hands.

So sorry to hear this. Keep us updated on how things go if you can. I hate to hear you two are going through something so horrible.

[COLOR="Blue"][SIZE="3"]Ty. Like I said, I am just really really tired of ALL of it. ALL of it, ya know? I don't mean just this. I mean the teacher that spit on me in high school. I mean my mom not speaking to me for 4&1/2 years when I came out. I mean the time someone keyed the word "Fag" in the side of my car. And ALL those times I have heard sentences come out of people's mouths that contained the words "someone like YOU..."
I'm just really tired of it all.:frown:[/SIZE][/COLOR]

[mrk2010]

No, in that she is just a missinformed bigot; one who, unfortunately, has the ability to make my life miserable. The issue at hand, rather, is that my husband makes almost 10X the income I make, SO (due to the way our estates are set up) our accountant filed our taxes jointly with me as his dependent (as he pays over 50% of our quaintly acquired debts); now, if we had been a man/woman couple nothing would have been said, but (even though I am paying out of pocket for my education; we make far too much for me to ever get student loans) the school requires that I supply them with a copy of our income tax forms with my application for the fall semester. On the basis of those forms, listing me as dependent, they don't recognize me as his dependent, so the woman says: "As far as the school is concerned, you don't exist. We can't admit a student that doesn't exist, now can we?".:mad:

That's a bit shit, it's totally different in England, there are plenty gay couples who live together and post a joint income. It's all a bit rubbish if you as me.

[avidcyclistMTB]

As a means to an end, I usually use the word "partner" in place of "husband". It's generally not to avoid conflict, just a preference for me, but at times it can allay this kind of reaction. A little non-disclosure of all of the details can often get you further than full disclosure. I know it shouldn't be this way, but it's a reality that effects our lives.

I'm sorry you have to put up with such bigotry and hatred. In inexcusable but so prevalent in the southern states, stereotypically. I don't know if what I'm saying helps or if you simply don't want to have to "pretend". If that is the case then cheers to you!

I am out to my community and in a rather uncommon relationship even for a gay man. I am 40, he is 67. Even so, sometimes I just feel that stating all of the facts can be detrimental to our own cause. It usually comes out anyway, but often times people will glance at the word partner and maybe make assumptions in one direction or the other but leave it alone because the issue is not in their face. Like I said, I generally do this because that's just what we call each other. Partners.

Regardless of all of this, you should get your lawyer involved if it comes down to that. Why the hell does your student registrar give a crap about your sexuality. Are you not paying tuition to attend their school? Sounds like you are living off-campus. Fuck that noise!!! You are being discriminated against.

Good luck and I hope that maybe this helps.

[avidcyclistMTB]

Sorry, got a little more back story as I was typing.

Sounds like a discrimination suit in the making.

I understand completely why you are sick of it all. You might want to change your filing status this year and remove you as his dependent and just file jointly. Explain the situation to your accountant.

[mrk2010]

Plus in England if you have a housemate, this could be a friend or family member they have to declare their earnings too, it's all a bit bullshit if you ask me

[Beaux]

[COLOR="Blue"][SIZE="3"]Here, in the US generally speaking, but focusedly in South Carolina, we are going through a really tough time all around for gay couples. There was an article I read to my husband at breakfast yesterday, about LBGT youth at the college being harassed and, sometimes, attacked and how the incidents were on the rise. The republican political machine was here last month, and ever since Romney's anti-gay campaign speech (I think it was on the 5th of May), the local church groups have really set upon us with a vengeance. Sme of our neighbors refuse to speak to us now and a lady in a shop I frequent told me her pastor says that gays are "attacking traditional family values".
I told my husband that it evokes an image of us walking around with whooping-sticks looking for "traditional values".[/SIZE][/COLOR]