Now, Sunshowers, I really think it would do you some good to sift those feelings out with a counsellor. There's no good in becoming repeatedly depressed about this. You are definitely looking for a long lost connection. That's how you are wired. Best of luck with finding it. But if you want to understand where this all stems from, then maybe some professional help might do the trick.
I haven't asked but is your father gone? Is your mother still in contact with him? Would you like to meet him, if it were possible? (maybe he's no longer with us?). Do you know?
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Haha, that's got nothing to do with my issue. The thing is that I wanna see what I can do about it now, while I'm young, I don't wanna end up waking at the age of 30 with two kids and a lot of frustration in my heart. Professional help won't do it, it's all about emotions. He's in a different country now, I see him once every year, she is but they talk to eachother twice a year or so.
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Yes, you're right that it's got nothing to do with your dad. It's not like you're an orphan.
However, I do think a professional would help you get this question sorted out, because they'll be helping you to phrase it in a way that makes you understand what your craving is about, and what the depression about it is too. Is there a history of depression in your family?
You're right to want to sort it out before you get married and have kids and have to admit to yourself that it's not what you wanted. It'll be much fairer to the prospective wife. Sometimes, admitting that we are "that way inclined" takes a great deal of courage and has to go against the grain of every fiber in our body (mental and physical), upbringing is so strongly rooted, so maybe it's just a case of letting go and getting to the heart of the matter, emotionally.
Why do you think that professionals don't deal with emotions? :confused:
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I'm not afraid of admitting anything, I just wanna discover myself, I feel like I don't know what I want from myself, life, and the people around me. Dunno, I've never taken professional help, I'm somehow embarrassed to go there and talk to someone I don't even know, I've got no idea of how the whole 'ritual' works. I think I should find someone who can help me explore myself, emotionally, and see what I'm made of. Now, if you were to ask me how I see myself in 10 years, 2 kids, a wonderful wife but also a man, I feel the need of having a masculine presence in my life who'd always be there for me. I don't know how fair that sounds but that's how I see the things right now.
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Hello sunshowers 
First let me say your father did not walk out on you , your mother for sure , but not you.
That being said ,your fathers absence is not the reason for whom you are attracted to.
There is nothing wrong with what you are feeling , you are simply Bi curious and believe me when I tell you , there is nothing wrong with that.
Sweetie you are over analyzing your feeling , you are not attracted to men because of some father complex , you are attracted to both sexes because that is the way you are.
What you are feeling is totally normal more to the point it is 100% natural.
I understand the need to want someone to step up and protect you ,there is nothing wrong with that , you can have that without relating them to your father.
When you find true love and you will , regardless of the sex of the person you end up with , you will both feel that protective reaction to one another.
It's the most normal feeling and reaction there is.
Do not ever feel scared of your attractions and feeling , there is absolutely no shame nor inferiority .
You are perfect just the way you are, trust me sweetie , the hardest battle you will ever fight is the one against your own nature.
We are all here for you and we all care.
Please do not feel alone , you are not.
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Rainbow, my father did walk on me, since I can only see him once every year, yet he never calls or anything but I walked on him as well, I never call him. I know he loves me, I can feel it, and I love him in return, after all, he's my dad, there's a connection you cannot change, even if he was a criminal I'd still love him but none of us try to work on our father-son relationship we've got. I wait for his call and he waits for mine, after all, I think I even got used to it, I rarely think of him, we've both got our separate lives now. He's in a different country and I'm 20, sooner I will be a dad myself so it's not like I desperately want his affection. I feel his absence and I wish he could be here for me all the time, yet I realised I'm using this as an excuse for what and how I feel, he had indeed a huge influence upon my feelings, but only that, an influence, the feelings were there from the beginning I believe. Eh, I do not feel alone, nor am I lonely, I am perfectly fine, it's just that once every two months or so I have this intense feeling I'm missing something, it always goes away in a couple of days and then I stop thinking about it, but it always gets back sooner or later. I don't feel depressed, it simply makes me sigh and wonder about things. I don't wanna get rid of it, cus it's a part of me, I embraced it and I somehow enjoy it. I just wanna find out what's to be done about it, how I can turn it into contentment.
You all have been really nice, I appreciate it and I kindly thank you.
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In the last few years the bar has been raised; your a gay man when your able to carry on a successful same sex relationship.
1)you need to be out to your self, in your mind with out any sense of gilt that your gay or bi or straight. Pick now and setup the relationship you can be the most successful in.
2)do you feel you need to be out to people so know who you are so they are able to judge you on who you are and not rumor and innuendo. Do you need to stop looking over your shoulder and better concentrate on moving forward in your life
3)your parents are only a good guide at best. If its less (likely most are) YOU have to fill in the blanks.
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I am so very sorry but I couldn't fully understand you, thank you though.
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VVIT Wrote:I've read, one of the causes of a person being gay is, the lack of attention from the father.
Welcome to the 1970's
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VVIT Wrote:I've read, one of the causes of a person being gay is, the lack of attention from the father.
Hi,
Aunty takes great offence at this.... Now being as professional as i can be I may have been disowned by my dad at 2 months old but that didnt turn me gay... He may have appeared briefly as a teenager and disowned me again but that didnt persue my homosexuality... What made me gay is exactly what made someone hetrosexual... This is the kind of comment that bitch I have to call my grandmother would come out with and you know what.... It pisses me right off because it is so shallow minded and so damn rude along with being ignorant... Homosexuality has been around from the word go and it is a way nature controls the global population because at the end of the day... Hetrosexual people produce gay bloody babies. I didnt wake up one day and say to myself "You know what fuck women i want a man I want the right to say im here im queer and I take it up the bloody rear.." I will tell you what I did if you really must know....
I woke up many many days infact.. I have been alive 9,855 days and 31 minutes and not once did i even contimplate thinking about just going gay like a game of ottello where black turns to white... I got this because it is the way nature made me and not the whole dad walked out bollocks because my father was a result of a one night stand and his not gay so where the hell does this whole attitude come from??? Its damn right pig arrogant and one line i am not willing to entertain anymore... People are gay because of the way they are made the only thing that is un natural is
PREJUDICE!
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