I don't know which is harder and did I have a victory?

[SadSilence]

Today I had to put on the bands... Right now I'm staring at a stained towel and scissors. Am I really this weak? Or strong enough to stare at the scissors and say 'No, I can't... I won't... Please go away'. The vicious cycle of depression; happy -> see really cute guy -> think about him and all the other cute guys and your crush -> come to reality of actually being gay and its not going to change -> depression sets in -> only form of release that's not cutting, masturbarion and porn -> temporary release -> shame and guilt set in for looking at porn and masturbating -> the devils begin to dance. Then if you don't cave to the devils it starts all over again in a few days. (This is the cycle for being gay and porn, there's a lot more)

I don't know which is harder; telling yourself you're okay or pretending you're okay.

But today I won... I won the battle I put the scissors away. But is it still consider a victory if I don't feel quite ready to take the bands off?

[monk]

But is it still consider a victory if I don't feel quite ready to take the bands off?

Every step is a victory. It's winning the battles that eventually wins the war. Well done.

[dfiant]

But is it still consider a victory if I don't feel quite ready to take the bands off?

Definately

I put the scissors away

That's why

And tomorrow

But today I won... I won the battle

The day after

But today I won... I won the battle

The week after

But today I won... I won the battle

masturbarion and porn

Welcome to the majority

[BeautifulBlue]

Hi SadSilence,

I'm glad to hear you're making progress with your issue. Though I've never been one to self-harm, I have dealt with depression and am diagnosed with Bipolar Disorder, for which I take antipsychotics and antidepressants for. If you're concerned that you might have something and you'd like to talk, please feel free to message me. I'll help all I can.

Much love,

- Blue