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I don't know which is harder and did I have a victory?
#1
Today I had to put on the bands... Right now I'm staring at a stained towel and scissors. Am I really this weak? Or strong enough to stare at the scissors and say 'No, I can't... I won't... Please go away'. The vicious cycle of depression; happy -> see really cute guy -> think about him and all the other cute guys and your crush -> come to reality of actually being gay and its not going to change -> depression sets in -> only form of release that's not cutting, masturbarion and porn -> temporary release -> shame and guilt set in for looking at porn and masturbating -> the devils begin to dance. Then if you don't cave to the devils it starts all over again in a few days. (This is the cycle for being gay and porn, there's a lot more)

I don't know which is harder; telling yourself you're okay or pretending you're okay.

But today I won... I won the battle Smile I put the scissors away. But is it still consider a victory if I don't feel quite ready to take the bands off?
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#2
SadSilence Wrote:But is it still consider a victory if I don't feel quite ready to take the bands off?


Every step is a victory. It's winning the battles that eventually wins the war. Well done. Bighug
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#3
SadSilence Wrote:But is it still consider a victory if I don't feel quite ready to take the bands off?


Definately Smile

Quote:I put the scissors away

That's why

And tomorrow
Quote:But today I won... I won the battle

The day after
Quote:But today I won... I won the battle

The week after
Quote:But today I won... I won the battle

Quote:masturbarion and porn
Welcome to the majority Wink

Bighug
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#4
Hi SadSilence,

I'm glad to hear you're making progress with your issue. Though I've never been one to self-harm, I have dealt with depression and am diagnosed with Bipolar Disorder, for which I take antipsychotics and antidepressants for. If you're concerned that you might have something and you'd like to talk, please feel free to message me. I'll help all I can.

Much love,

- Blue
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