As gay males, do you take your other gay male friends out to eat or do you simply split the bill. I had lunch with this guy, who I assume we are friends because this was our first time meeting. We split the bill and then he said next time I will treat you. Do friends treat each other? I do not usually treat my friends out unless it is my Best Friend, but what about the rest of you? I do not see this often, friends treating each other out unless it is their birthday or celebrating something they have accomplished.
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I rarely offer to pay the full bill, only if im really trying to impress someone or its a special day, like his birthday or something like that. On dates or hanging out with friends I always intend to pay my own way, but whenever someone offers to pay for me, Ill usually let him.
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I pick up the tab alot. I am generous by nature so it is a non issue for me. I don't have any rules I follow...I do it if I feel like doing it. After knowing my boyfriend for two weeks I shared all of my money with him and we have never had separate money....It is a strange concept for me for some reason to have separate money and I never really bothered to figure out why because I am fine with it.
I have had people mistake my generosity as an invitation to take advantage of me and when that happens I do not ever pick up the tab again.
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I have to second dfiant on about what East said xD.
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If it's a date I generally assume the one who asked the other out will be the one to pay the bill. I wouldn't be able to see something where each pays his own as a date. I mean really, "How how sweet of you! You want to take me somplace to spend my money." Not very romantic I think. I certainly wouldn't make someone pay for their bill if I was asking someone out. But if it's just going out for the purpose of getting out of the house and doing something fun but isn't planned to be romantic or anything then I would expect that both people pay their own. I guess to me it depends on the mindset of the evening. When it comes to going out with friends no one in their right mind (at least in my friend group) would expect one person to pay for everyone, each person pays for their own.
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Like most younger guys, I don't have a lot of money, so it is rare for me to pay the whole bill for a friend, unless it's a special occasion. We usually split the bill.
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In my book the general rule is the person who invites the other pays. However if the other person who would normally be covered insists on paying for one's own self I don't press the issue (I'm this way myself with people I don't know well and who I think might be into me as I've experienced guys who thought I "owed" them even after buying me a soda and it was upsetting enough that I've gotten where I like to "avoid misunderstandings"). If I invite someone (friend or otherwise) and intend to pay I'll often say, "My treat."
If I wanted to make sure I don't have to pay for a partner I'll word it more like, "Let's go and get some coffee," as in let us go together and get our own thing as opposed to, "Let me take you out for coffee." If I want to be absolutely clear that they'll be covering themselves then I'll add, "You don't mind their prices, do you? Sometimes I'm not in the mood to pay their prices for what they serve."
Generally speaking, people only pay for dates so paying for friends (while happens) can be taken the wrong way by some people. And you should know (in addition to what East says) that while some people can be very grateful for someone who pays to be with them (especially if they're being crushed by debt), others can be insulted by it as they don't like to be thought of as a "charity case." That's why everything I shared here is a "general rule" as the specifics may change how I treat the sitch (especially as I'm aware others play with different rule books than I do).
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What do you do?
