Confusing friend

[Xristo]

Well I have a really good friend, or so I think he is. Well the guys is really nice and Kind and all. And he likes to play around a lot also, like flirting or saying a lot of goofy things. Well I told him I have a crush on him and he already knew this. Well it took me a long time to understood how obsessed I was about him. Like if a random woman was to talk to him id feel so threatened or if he went to go talk to someone else id feel so much rage just bottling up inside me. I never felt like this before,so anyway after figuring this out I ask him what can we do about this? Cause I wanna just leave him and forget about him or what ive already tried to do is piss him off so he will be mad at me and never speak to me again and I can just walk away a little hurt that he was mad at me. I was told that just leaving him would be mean to do cause it would hurt him and I would be miserable. But at the same time if I stay talking to him Im already miserable. I feel like I can just get hit by a truck any day now cause im so sick and tired of being this way about something and its making me hate straight people more and more. If anyone understood that can you help me out on solving this issue? Oh what makes things worse is that I never physically been around him my entire life. We just know each other off Skype and we've known each other for 4yrs now.
P.S. Most people I asked about this had no idea I was speaking to another guy or they know very little about being gay.

[dfiant]

why....why wouldn't you want to have him as a friend?

I don't understand, the guy knows you are gay and have a crush on him, but he still wants to be your friend and cares about you?

Why would you want to lose that...any one else would fighting tooth and nail to hold onto that sort of friendship.

What are you doing? what are you thinking? You need to work on yourself rather than cutting him off as a friend.

[Dylannihilation]

Don't lose him, hun, he sounds like a great friend! Not every guy would react the same way!

[Xristo]

I honestly dont know what to do. I think its cause ive been alone for almost my whole life and somone actualy likeing me and alot about me is making me feel weird and confused. I never really had a friend before cause I always think of every straight person as a very destructive person towards me. I really want help about this cause I dont know any gay friends that could educate me on what to and not to do. I like him alot as a friend. But I donthink I like him like I would want somone. I like him cause of my strong despration to be with or around somone. I think most likely it is me, but what do I do about that though? Ive gotten so many headaches over this and fell into a deep depression and it was so bad that I feel like my body is breaking apart. Im randomly getting sick now and feeling weak...its a terrible feeling and Ive never experienced this before ever, im desprate for help however dumb this might sound.

[dfiant]

just over thinking and over analysing everything mate, learn to relax, appreciate what you have, work on your self esteem. You have a REAL friend, a lot of people don't even have that so you are bloody lucky from outset.

If he enjoys your company, which he obviously does, then sit back and relax and return the favour...ENJOY his company. There is no pressure to anything but yourself with this guy so be just that.

You can't make relationships and friendships happen, they are something that just evolve and only special people have special friends.

You have one of the most awesome special friends

RELAX