I need help! Very drunk straight man.

[dfiant]

Fair enough that guy did take advantage
but infairness you sorta knew what you where doing before u went for a drink with this guy
so it is your own fault for not knowing your limits u could have just got a water in the pub with him

Wow! I mean really....WOW!


I thought pigs only grunted, what a disgusting response. No one asked to be drugged and raped, and blaming this poor guy is like saying ' you were in the bank when you got shot during a robbery, so you kind of knew what you were getting into.'


I'm honestly appalled.

[East]

Wow! I mean really....WOW!


I thought pigs only grunted, what a disgusting response. No one asked to be drugged and raped, and blaming this poor guy is like saying ' you were in the bank when you got shot during a robbery, so you kind of knew what you were getting into.'


I'm honestly appalled.

I agree with you BUT...just in case the person who gave the advice has been raped himself and not processed it yet...IF that has happened...then I can understand his response...

..having been raped as a teenager by two guys when I was drunk...I know what happens right afterward...you blame yourself...yell at yourself for being stupid and not being able to defend yourself or stop it....convince yourself you must have been asking for it....it wasn't until I talked about it with someone years later I had a better understanding of it.

The OP here is lucky he has gotten some great advice...I wish I had a resource like this when it happened to me though I am not sure I would have told anyone...I felt incredibly guilty and ashamed about it for many years.

To the guy who gave this advice (TomStatic)....I hope this has never happened to you and if it has maybe you should read the other responses because what you said is not appropriate at all.

[BeautifulBlue]

Fair enough that guy did take advantage
but infairness you sorta knew what you where doing before u went for a drink with this guy
so it is your own fault for not knowing your limits u could have just got a water in the pub with him

...

This is an absolutely DISGUSTING post. Did you not read any of his posts, AT ALL? He said he felt 'blurry' and 'lightheaded' after his last drink. He could've been date raped and here you are throwing blame on him. How absolutely fucking disgraceful. Ever heard of a thing called 'being friendly to a stranger?' It's perfectly all right to have a drink with someone you don't know. There's nothing wrong with people forming friendships, so to blame Didder for accepting a proposition for a drink in what could have been a friendly manner is absolutely ridiculous. The fact that this person TOOK ADVANTAGE OF HIM is the real crime. Didder is not at fault, at all. You should be ashamed of yourself for even insinuating that he is to blame for what happened to him.

To Didder -- I just want to say that I admire you for your openness and that you came here for help. Like Zeon and others have said, messages are rarely deleted. I'm also fairly sure (but not certain) that if you did want to try and get extra evidence of this guy and you went to the police, they could work with the cell company to provide extra evidence, which would probably also include information on whether or not this guy was trying to call and/or text you after you changed your number. I would also advise you to watch your online activities (i.e, if you have a Facebook account and you've liked local pages this person might have access to, remove yourself from them.) People think they maintain anonymity on the internet, but true privacy is virtual impossible nowadays.

If you need anything, ask. I'll try to help.

Sending lots of love and good energy your way.

[dfiant]

I agree with you BUT...just in case the person who gave the advice has been raped himself and not processed it yet

I understand what you are saying having being raped when I was 13, BUT i still don't understand how a person can blame someone for being raped.

Positive comments and support make the difference between a survivor being a victim.

[East]

I understand what you are saying having being raped when I was 13, BUT i still don't understand how a person can blame someone for being raped.

Positive comments and support make the difference between a survivor being a victim.

I dont' necessarily disagree with anything you have said except I know when I blamed myself I might have easily blamed someone else as well without knowing any better. I don't remember ever saying it but I do remember when I was young thinking it.

For me...processing what happened was the key to becoming a survivor versus a victim.

[Dider]

Alright I can see that there is a mixed response to the situation I went through. But... I've gotten over it.. I think. I'll just put it down to experience and move on.

By the way, I SAW him tonight. I was in my friends pub and he walked in. I nearly had a panic attack seeing him but then he looked at me and looked away. He didn't bother me all night.

I know what he did to me was wrong but seeing that he looked just as nervous as I was made me feel so much better. Turns out he was a successful businessman, I could've easily destroyed his image by telling everyone just what he did to me and how much money he offered to me afterwards. I feel at peace now guys.

I suppose people will tell me to report him but I really don't want to go through the trouble of court cases. I can't be bothered with all that.

Seriously thank you for the help and advice you all gave me. You don't understand how much it helped me, I was close to commiting suicide at one point (no joke), honestly guys thank you.

I wish you all the best in the future, you're good people.

[Dider]

I'll stick around in this forum too. It would be an insult if I didn't after the help you all gave me.

[Pix]

Wow, I missed the last 2 weeks of this.

Glad you're doing better Dider.

Fair enough that guy did take advantage
but infairness you sorta knew what you where doing before u went for a drink with this guy
so it is your own fault for not knowing your limits u could have just got a water in the pub with him

Good luck getting anyone to go have a drink with you after saying that.

[dfiant]

So pleased that we could help and extra pleased that youare feeling a lot better. A bonus to have you stick around in our little family

[East]

I am so glad you have some peace and resolution. I think you handled it brilliantly...you have alot of courage!