Wow that was really mean but the worst thing is, you do make some fair points, however cynical they may be :-\
Now I'm sad.
That was your fault. O.O
But I also have to say, it is probably too cynical to look at it that way. With maturity, people do look past superficial appearance and sexual matters. Even gay people eventually get their priorities right after their life is laid out in front of their eyes.
![[-]](https://gayspeak.com/images/duende_v3_local/collapse.png)
•
[COLOR="DarkRed"]Not every gay man thinks only in terms of sex! For example, I'm still a virgin because I WANT to be. I'm waiting for the right guy, and if I was only looking for those that are 'beautiful' by the community standards, I'd be missing a lot. At the end of the day, a person's personality is what you're left to deal with. Whether someone is considered beautiful or ugly by others means nothing if they have a rotten personality.
I'm looking for a committed relationship based off of trust and affection, NOT sex. And I know many others who are looking for the same thing. When I'm old and gray, who cares if I'm married to someone who was considered gorgeous? Looks fade, and you're left with who they are on the inside.
Plus, who are we to decide if someone's ugly? Everyone has something beautiful about them. Are we really so full of ourselves that we think we have the power to put someone in that category? [/COLOR]
•
Ok I'm sorry I even posted... it was wrong but I just figured I'd mention it. I hear people say that they "feel sorry for" someone who they think is unattractive, doesn't make it any better though.
•
don't be sorry for the post. Maybe reading the answers will change the way you look at life and people around. Just how Dylannihilation said, several years from now nobody will care if your partner was gorgeous when you two met, not even you.
Maybe you are insecure, not self-confident, and by secretly searching for good looking bf you try to assure yourself and the world around - look, I am worth it, even this gorgeous guy has chosen to date me...
Try to work on that *hug*
•
You are still a baby. You are just 19 years of age, and that has a huge bearing on how you look at life and the sort of people you surround yourself with.
Yes in your narrow bandwidth of childhood way back there are the dawn of Adulthood its all about the looks. Up here in the Midsummer years with the early frosts touching lightly upon the roof we see the world much differently and see that the real attraction is not the body, but the soul of the person.
So an unattractive 20 something year old is 'doomed' only for a short span of time. Sure, for them it feels like forever, but in reality a decade flies by and eventually they find themselves in the right climate to where their 'ugliness' is actually an asset.
Its the beautiful people that end up getting the short end of the stick. Especially those who relied on their good looks to get by in their 20's. When they hit 30 or 40 they suddenly see that their body has turned traitor. A spreading mid-line, drooping floppy triceps, white or grey hairs or 'wavy hair' (it waves by-by as it leaves) mixed with deepening lines and the aches and pains of old age's impending onset.
I feel bad for those kinds of people who have invested their lives into the perpetual youth and attractiveness which is a lie.
But then I am old enough to be your father (46 now). When you were born I was three years shy of 30 (27) thus I see the world with 19 years of adult experience plus 7 more years of 'adult-childhood'.
From up here there is a lot more potential for the 'unattractive gay male' - a lot more potential if one sticks to their own age group and doesn't go playing in the school-yards of the 20-something crowd.
And that last is a huge issue, mostly its old men attempting to recapture their youth, either misspent by hiding in the closest, playing at being straight or because they were attractive and young and can't handle being old and unattractive thus seek to make conquests with the 'kids'.
•
beautiful people spend too much time and energy to keep their beauty. Those time and energy should be spent elsewhere like work and career.
I agree with some of your points. Don't you guys have a 0-10 beauty meter?
Maybe we all should look for modest looking guys with nice personality.
•
Well first congrats on getting everyone in an uproar. However, I don't think that was your intent.
I believe you are just young and that bares with it immaturity (I do hate that word).
It seems to be the 2nd time I've used it today, but you are confusing Love and Lust my good Sir.
Gentle people don't hang him yet, he knows not what he says.
Sir, a relationship is not built around sex. Sex is part of a relationship. It's a perk, a benny. Your 19yo hormones are leading you astray my dear friend. But you will learn this one day. All on your own, but know that it might hurt until you do.
I love you and will not be angry with you. That's not what I'm here for. And please others don't be offended or take things personal or this board will fall apart.
We need to support each other, no matter what any of us has to say. Try taking it a couple different ways before we think we get what others are saying.
Best Wishes!
•
I feel bad for... "ugly" gay men
