I feel bad for... "ugly" gay men

[warmpixels]

You know, guys, I'd always thought that true beauty is the capacity to love anyone and everyone.

[Puck]

I've been with my partner over 24 years. He's put on a little weight over the years (as have I) and lost quite a lot of hair. He's no Brad Pitt, he's no Tom Cruise, he's not even Justin Bieber - thank God!

But, oh, the beauty I've found inside!

This speaks volumes. Well put my friend.

I know its a cliche to say one looks for inner beauty above all else...but you'll find as you grow older and more wise to the grander scheme of life, you'll begin to notice things about people that you may have overlooked in your youth. Things that truly define who that person is and the stamp they will end up leaving on this planet when they pass on, for better or for worse.

I know it may seem as though bagging yourself a trophy boy toy is the high priority right now...but when you're with someone and have been around people as long as some members here have been, you'll learn that beauty fades, but a good personality, a kind heart and a kindrid spirit lasts for eternity.

[Sylph]

I've thought about it and even though it sort of goes against what I've already said and what everyone else has said too, I believe he isn't wrong to believe what he believes and to be who he is.

Honestly, I believe people can only ever be themselves and that change should not be forced upon them, for any reason, however much we may beg to differ.

If you believe in a god, and believe he/she made you gay and who you are, then he/she made WheresTheLove the way he was supposed to be made, and trying to change him would technically be against your beliefs.

I'm not agreeing with him about the Beauty Vs Ugly factor, as I honestly do not associate Beauty with perfection or attractiveness, but I will not try to change his view point.

I will express mine of course, and many will disagree, it's human nature of course, but none-the-less, it's mine and while it's neither right or wrong, it's there.

Y'all can disagree with me if you like, as I said, it's in our nature to disagree as well as agree, but I sincerely believe this.

If I were in his position, with his problems, be it mental/emotional/physical/etc, and his experience of life and what not, I wouldn't want further degragation and feeling like my opinions and who I am, is wrong.

Sometimes people say things here that upset me alittle as well, although I think I'm strong enough mentally to cope with whatever comes my way.

Who's to say he is as well? Though you all mean well and I certainly am not against any of you, he may take it as an attack, because so many of us are opposing his view point and he say's he has mental issues, and the last thing I'd personally want, is to know or probably not know, that I even remotely helped push him to harm himself or even worse, kill himself.

Even if he is lying and or whatever. You never know, which is why I try to be nice to everyone. To brighten their day, even infintismally, perhaps even make them smile or laugh. Because you never know what the person in front of the monitor has gone through and will take seriously or not.

Again, I don't believe any of you were intentionally trying to hurt him, but some of the comments are a tad bit on the assertive/oppressive side and I wouldn't want him to be hurt by them and do something regretable.

I believe everyone is right and wrong, and neither at the same time, because our opinions are ours and shouldn't be changed, because they are what makes us who we are.

Perhaps he needs to take into consideration, that not everything revolves around beauty/uglyness, but if he believes what he believes, it makes no sense to push him to change his views. It may do more harm than good.

I just want for everyone to be happy, even though that's technically impossible. It's hard to describe really. A paradox of sorts.

Kisses everyone

I believe you are just young and that bares with it immaturity (I do hate that word).

Oh sir .

This is one of the things I do not agree with, especially in regards to one's knowledge of one's self and how one thinks.

I had to grow up fast and early, so I might be an exception somewhat, but I've met many kids my age who have more maturity in their pinkies, than some adults do in their entire bodies.

I fear adults, who by the way were once children/teens themselves, have been told as children/teens that they were just that, children/teens and therefore not capapable of "adult intellect", but that is a folly.

Intelligence & Wisdom is not just granted to those of older years. Sure experience maybe, but you'd be surprised perhaps, by how quickly some kids of my generation and the one beneath me, have had to grow up. The world is changing and we have to adapt to it.

It's not back in the day, when Moms threw their children outside to play and forbade them to speak unless spoken to. Although, I personally wish it was, as I never had a full childhood.

But rather, it's a day and age when we kids have to know things the one's before us never had to know and we know things the one's before us never even dreamt about.

It's both sad and a reality, one which I believe some people have chosen to yet not to see.

I agree, some kids my age are immature, but to generalize and associate the word Young to equate to Immaturity is something I do not agree with.

I believe Age has nothing to do with Intelligence or Maturity. Even my youngest sister, who's 9, is very mature for her age. She knows somethings even I don't know and certainly didn't at her age.

Merely my opinion, however biased...

[East]

I am not sure it is an age thing really...I have always thought that. I had an evil mother and father who were both "beautiful people" according to society and I saw how they manipulated people and situations using their appearance and how other people saw them to their advantage...it helped them to get away with their abusive actions so I think I learned what a bunch of crap looks were from them inadvertently....

I had a friend for years who I often went out for a drink or to a restaurant with...sat next to him and many parties...danced with him and hung out with him at clubs...planned a surprise party for him...I was literally with him at least 500 times..and one night at dinner I looked at his arm and saw he had a deformed hand that just was a little bit of flesh that hung there...I was stunned...when dd THAT happen? ...It took a few hours to realize it had always been there...from birth. At first I thought I had a huge problem and something was wrong with me until my friend pointed out it was what was RIGHT with me....this after many years of looking at him. He was a beautiful guy to be sure and that is what I saw but physical appearances never really meant much to me.

I used to lecture my friends about it...in high school...college...working in a gay bar (which was a hoot)...

I really think our obsession with images is ...and will be...our downfall. I swear sometimes I have nightmares that all the next Hitler will have to do to fool everyone is to just "look hot". BARF Back in 2000 and 2004 I heard so many people on political boards actually say they thought Bush was "cuter" so they were going to vote for him...OMFG:eek:

People are addicted to what appears to be. Physical appearance has zilch to do with beauty...I know we are all brainwashed to think otherwise but with a little effort and interest you can take your soul back:biggrin:

[jatman]

I sometimes think this, but trust that things will work out. What else can you do? I have a friend, 27, going to extreme lengths to get abs, despite all the evidence so far says it's not going to happen. I tell him to be happy about who you are and those around you, and enjoy life.

[Zet]

From your statement I'll die a virgin... Meh!

[monk]

From your statement I'll die a virgin... Meh!

I bet you don't!

[ManicReptile21]

Well now, Isn't this quite the conversation. I'll just state that. Straight gay or WHATEVER. It doesnt matter. You say that only gay guys look for perfection with no questions asked. Not so fast- No ONE IS PERFECT. A relationship OF ANY SEXUAL ORIENTATION IS BASED OFF OF ACCEPTANCE OF FLAWS and the use of common ground to make it work. What you stated is probably what everyone wants ideally in a spouse. BUT EXCEPTIONS ARE MADE WHEN YOU ACTUALLY FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE. WHEN YOU ACTUALLY LIKE SOMEONE FOR WHO THEY ARE THE JOB AND LOOKS DON'T MATTER. NOTHING MATTERS WHEN YOU ACTUALLY FALL IN LOVE. Stop making cliche and obvious statements. You should go fall in love before you make assumptions.

And another thing. THERE IS BEAUTY IN EVERYONE. HOW DARE YOU DROP PEOPLE INTO AN UGLY CATEGORY?!?!?! ARE YOU INSANE? Just because you don't find someone attractive doesn't mean you should be judging them! HOW RUDE. THE WORLD DOESNT REVOLVE AROUND YOU-YOU JERK!

[Dylannihilation]

[COLOR="DarkRed"]

Ok I'm sorry I even posted... it was wrong but I just figured I'd mention it. I hear people say that they "feel sorry for" someone who they think is unattractive, doesn't make it any better though.

I hope I didn't come of as condescending in my last post, and if I did I apologize! I just felt the need to say something.
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[LatinCoffee]

Lol there's someone for everyone. Just because you, me, him, her, John, Timmy or whoever think someone is unattractive, doesn't mean someone else won't find them unattractive. I don't think that's even something you should worry about.

I so agree, MyApple.