I feel bad for... "ugly" gay men

[SlowLo]

Speak for yourself. I for one am attracted to men who are universally labeled as ugly - old fat men. Wilford Brimley, Paul Sorvino, Ed Asner, Jackie Gleason etc., to me they are what supermodels are to straight guys - I'm so gay I can't even name one supermodel :redface:

Even you, the OP, have made a derrogative comment about older men, and I am just crazy about them. It's young guys that I find totally unattractive. It's reverse from your case with me - when a young guy hits on me I find it yucky.

We all have certain types we find unattractive, but there are plenty of people who find them attractive.

Trust me, one day somebody's gonna tell you you are unattractive too.

[mihai]

so what is the reason to open this topic again?
everyone is how they feel.
i so hate people like you who start this kind of threads. Don't get me wrong, i hate you 50% and i hate 100% this thread

[Pix]

To sum up what others said:



:tongue:

[Zet]

[TomStatic]

I personaly only am attracted to men with tattoos, and piercings, toned :p
but i beleve, anyone can be attractive if they have alot of confidence in themselves

[Drew]

It does often seem like we, as gay men, are addicted to unattainable physical beauty, but over the years, I've definitely learned that what one person finds attractive, another person doesn't, and vice versa.

I have a friend who most would say is an attractive fellow - tallish Latino, handsome face, confident and calm demeanor. One night I was over his place having dinner with him and his partner (who is also a handsome guy, but completely different btw - salt and pepper haired caucasian, shorter and stockier than said friend, as well as being 15 years his senior) when we were talking about the different men we find attractive.

And you know what one of the answers he gave was? The guy from that TLC show Cash Cab. My traditionally attractive friend finds the CASH CAB GUY hot!

But the bad part was I went "ugh, really?!" He was kinda offended by my reaction, and I'm embarrassed that I did that. Luckily he and I still joke about it in good fun.

Trust me, I know you see a lot of images depicting men in ridiculously cut shape - which is nearly impossible to obtain, fyi, unless it's your job (which is what these guys are after all, models - and even then they're airbrushed post-photo shoot) in even respectable gay publications and websites (just pick up any random old copy of the Advocate - boom, advertisements with scantily-clad men selling underwear and exotic travel, first page in). But what guys find attractive - what YOU find attractive - may surprise others, and maybe yourself, if your honest.

I think your mentality will change with time and experience. It's scary at first, but be patient, remember to love yourself just as is and you'll see.

[WheresTheLove]

Speak for yourself. I for one am attracted to men who are universally labeled as ugly - old fat men. Wilford Brimley, Paul Sorvino, Ed Asner, Jackie Gleason etc., to me they are what supermodels are to straight guys - I'm so gay I can't even name one supermodel :redface:

Even you, the OP, have made a derrogative comment about older men, and I am just crazy about them. It's young guys that I find totally unattractive. It's reverse from your case with me - when a young guy hits on me I find it yucky.

We all have certain types we find unattractive, but there are plenty of people who find them attractive.

Trust me, one day somebody's gonna tell you you are unattractive too.

People keep misunderstanding my comments about the older men.

I HAVE NOTHING AGAINST THEM. I like some older men and think they are hot actually. Not as old as the ones you named, but I understand where you come from. I think Jackie Gleason was cute actually.

I also think that a lot of young guys (below 21) are not attractive yet because they're just too kid-looking still. I'd feel like a pedo dating them.

What I dislike is old men who constantly hit on young guys (especially ones who state their age limit is below their age) and I hate how people hate on those with a dating age limit within their age range.

And people have called me unattractive before. I'm not the most confident person in the world. Notice how I don't have any pics on here.

It does often seem like we, as gay men, are addicted to unattainable physical beauty, but over the years, I've definitely learned that what one person finds attractive, another person doesn't, and vice versa.

I have a friend who most would say is an attractive fellow - tallish Latino, handsome face, confident and calm demeanor. One night I was over his place having dinner with him and his partner (who is also a handsome guy, but completely different btw - salt and pepper haired caucasian, shorter and stockier than said friend, as well as being 15 years his senior) when we were talking about the different men we find attractive.

And you know what one of the answers he gave was? The guy from that TLC show Cash Cab. My traditionally attractive friend finds the CASH CAB GUY hot!

But the bad part was I went "ugh, really?!" He was kinda offended by my reaction, and I'm embarrassed that I did that. Luckily he and I still joke about it in good fun.

Trust me, I know you see a lot of images depicting men in ridiculously cut shape - which is nearly impossible to obtain, fyi, unless it's your job (which is what these guys are after all, models - and even then they're airbrushed post-photo shoot) in even respectable gay publications and websites (just pick up any random old copy of the Advocate - boom, advertisements with scantily-clad men selling underwear and exotic travel, first page in). But what guys find attractive - what YOU find attractive - may surprise others, and maybe yourself, if your honest.

I think your mentality will change with time and experience. It's scary at first, but be patient, remember to love yourself just as is and you'll see.

Racial minority going for older white guy... sorry but that's so stereotypical. xD

And personally I think the Cash Cab guy is average, maybe slightly above. There's nothing hot about him but nothing unattractive either, really.

I definately do think that gay publications and the like influence our tastes a bit too much.

[Drew]

.Racial minority going for older white guy... sorry but that's so stereotypical. xD

Is it? I don't know what is and isn't typical or stereotypical anymore. When you've seen as much as I have in the gay community, you should know to expect the unexpected.

Plus I don't think my friend or his partner would appreciate the comment that they're "stereotypical". They've both become very good friends of mine, and I see how their dynamic works as beautifully as it does. To toss it off as a stereotype undermines the life they've built together.

[Mr. Not So Lonely]

WOW WOW WOW I cannot believe how shallow the person who started this thread is in this day and age. Having traveled the world three times and seen the things I have seen.

This person is just sad, I hope he will wake up one day and see the beauty that is in all people.

Even tho sometimes you have to look really hard to find it.

[fr0sty]

I'll preface by saying that you've brought up an interesting point, and while lacking in tact of explanation, I understand why you say what you are saying.

I think that the major issue with what you are saying is that you are generalizing to say that all gay men are hung up on physical beauty. If that's the experience that you've had, then its better to say that "in my experience..." or "with the guys I'VE met..."

Having said that, I'll say this: In MY own experience, I've noticed that its difficult for me to meet guys online. I know it sounds like i'm off topic, but let me get to a point here. Online, if I show a guy a picture of myself (and i'm not a guy with a perfect body, but i get a ton of compliments on my face and smile) one of two things normally happens: they either say i'm handsome, or they completely stop talking to me. When they stop talking to me, it makes me realize that clearly they are only interested in something physical, because though the words in my profile may have attracted them, they see a picture and immediately revoke any chance I had of winning them over because they dont find an immediate attraction.....now....with THAT said....

When I meet guys at a gay bar, its a whole different story. I've always been mature for my age, and the men I normally meet are normally kinda older than me, and they've told me that they find me very attractive because if we've had a conversation, they fall in love with how I speak, my intelligence, and a list of other intangible features before they cap it off with saying "...and you have such a nice smile."

What this says to me is what we have always known about men whether straight or gay: men are predominantly visual creatures, but are not absent the ability to use their other senses.

I say ALL OF THAT to say THIS: Even though there was a time when the same thought rolled through my head, I disagree with your idea that there are "ugly gay guys" and that they would never find someone. Clearly the guys that you feel this way about are not who you are looking for, and that's ok. But maybe they are what someone else is looking for....even if they do not possess visual perfection (i know i dont) they may have other qualities that are turn on's for other men. Maybe they tell great jokes and are funny, maybe they are intelligent, maybe they share a common interest or hobby with another guy, or maybe they simply have "a nice smile." Those qualities can go just as far (and in most cases further) than physical attraction any day of the week.

I think that once you find something to be attracted to besides physicality, you will look back on this and wonder why you could have even written this! Best of luck, bro!