Transition is a bit unnerving

[hank]

I am having a huge issue with cold feet. I want to experience being with a man, I let myself allow that fantasy to be attainable but I am being held back by my reluctance. I don't know if this makes sense, but I have always wanted my first time to be with a
woman. But my unease with all things sexual has put a huge block in my way.

I have never had a gay friend, atleast a male gay friend. Perhaps this is just an illusion but I would imagine guys aren't as judgmental as women. I have had a few awful experiences with ladies perhaps is my nieve ness or perhaps its because I have never engaged in a romantic experience with a guy.

I want to take the plunge but I don't want to have a panic attack in the process. Any idea on how I can take my first step.

[dfiant]

Stop puttting pressure on yourself...constant thought and worry leads to performance issues...you don't HAVE to have sex so why are you placing so much importance on it?

Chill out mate, relax. Allow things to take their course, let it all happen naturally and when the time is right you'll be fine

[pellaz]

if you want something enough you will find it.
i think you will agree; it dosnt matter gay or straight; so long as they love you.

just forget their name, your partner an you deserve it

[hank]

Stop puttting pressure on yourself...constant thought and worry leads to performance issues...you don't HAVE to have sex so why are you placing so much importance on it?

Chill out mate, relax. Allow things to take their course, let it all happen naturally and when the time is right you'll be fine

I think I will take your advise something just dawned on me, repressed memories of sexual abuse may be triggered by sexual activity.

I want to, its not about proving anything, it is that I want to feel it, man or woman. I have been repressed for so long. but I shouldn't rush, you are right

[dfiant]

I think I will take your advise something just dawned on me, repressed memories of sexual abuse may be triggered by sexual activity.

I want to, its not about proving anything, it is that I want to feel it, man or woman. I have been repressed for so long. but I shouldn't rush, you are right

I'm so sorry, but give yourself time to grieve and recover before going any further. I wish you all the very best.

[hank]

I'm so sorry, but give yourself time to grieve and recover before going any further. I wish you all the very best.

Grieve and recover, recover I understand, but grieve? I don't quite understand, what should I be grieving?? I am confused by that do you know something that I do not??

[chillythoughts]

you did say you were sexually abused, I think thats why he said GRIEVE. like everyone else, Id give it time and let everything run its course. My boyfriend is still a virgin so Im not forcing things with him. Im giving him time and let him tell me when hes ready and what not. sex isnt everything bro. I know its human nature but make sure its the RIGHT person.

[dfiant]

Ivory nailed it. Grieve the loss of innocence. We associate grief with death, but we grieve any traumatic experience, it is part of the process of anything lost.

[hank]

Ivorybenz and defiant, I get what you are saying. Its not like I want to run out and sleep with every person I can. Or with any person right away, my life has become so stagnant, comming out is a breath of fresh air.

Sexual abuse happened 22 years ago, I am sick of grieving, I don't even know if it really did happen, I have no memory of it, every time I try and recover a memory its a vain attempt. I am sure it happened because the people who told me it did wouldn't lie about it. I was six, not sure if I will ever remember it.

[dfiant]

I don't think either one of us were under the impression that you are about to go out and sleep with as many as you can. I was actually under the impression that if you found the right person you think you would have trouble performing, the sexual abuse, if it did happen and is a repressed memory, which is is not unheard of, it may just been an isssue that you need to over come one way or another.