self acceptance.

[hank]

I don't know about anyone else here, but I am at a stalemate with myself. I do not want to be gay/bi. Anyone else ever felt that way? I always wanted a wife and kids, mainly kids I can do without the wife. But being bisexual limits me completely I am not sure one person will ever be enough.

When I was younger my parents raised me to think gay was wrong. I thought it was too, and I was. They told me people choose to be gay, they still do tell me this. But in my youth I felt so out of control, I hated that I couldn't choose not to be gay as my parents said. I felt like I was purposely breaking my parents hearts. I contemplated suicide, I was depressed. I grew up and put it out of my hea

Now it is surfacing again this feeling of inadequacy, I tell myself I am bi/gay and I get depressed, the same damn feeling I had when I was a boy, I don't want to go through all of that again. My parents say the same thing they did before.

How do I accept myself how do I make it through the depression again, suicide hasn't come up again but I fear it might.

[Rainbowmum]

Sweetie you can still have children , you can still be happy.
What you should not do is attempt to go against nature.

You have been living your life to please societies expectation of what they feel is correct.
They are wrong , the same bovine scat they are passing on to you was passed on to them.

Nature has been showing us all along that being Bisexual is normal.
I assure you that the animal kingdom have no problems accepting their behaviour, and we are after all animals.

So why is life so complicated to us?
The answer is simple , we are going against nature.

I won't lie to you , the change will not happen instantaneously , you will have to peel back the layers of brainwashing ,like you do an onion.
Celebrate every time you overcome a layer ,smile and realize you are becoming closer to your true self.

We are all here for you hank.

[dfiant]

Hi Hank, it's me again

I agree with what Mum has said.

Stop fighting with yourself, relax and the nature of YOU come to the fore.

In breaking news, Father of 2 beautiful sons is GAY

[72jay]

I never wanted kids or anything (even before I figured out I was bi/gay)
I used to really hate/dislike that 'gay' part of me...eventually I just grew to not so much like it, but rather just accept "I am who I am" LOL (and thats really only been within the past couple years)

I don't think you can just simply one day decide to 'accept yourself'...more so its something that will happen over time - at least thats how it was for me.

[Miles]

The fact that you couldn't choose not to be gay (as you yourself acknowledge), which stands in complete opposition to what your parents thought, should have been a clue that, hey, your parents can be wrong about things. Because they're human. You know more about your own mind and feelings than they do, because you're the one feeling them. Sure, with certain things they may have more of an idea than you might think, but in this case they don't know any better. You do.

"I couldn't choose not to be gay...[but] I felt like I was intentionally breaking my parents hearts." It's easy to examine this sentence and acknowledge intellectually that it makes absolutely no sense to feel this way, but it can be much harder to actually get rid of that underlying feeling. All I can say is just keep telling yourself there's nothing wrong with you, because there isn't, and take it one day at a time.

And all being bi means is you just have twice as many folks to choose from.

[princealbertofb]

I never wanted kids or anything (even before I figured out I was bi/gay)
I used to really hate/dislike that 'gay' part of me...eventually I just grew to not so much like it, but rather just accept "I am who I am" LOL (and thats really only been within the past couple years)

I don't think you can just simply one day decide to 'accept yourself'...more so its something that will happen over time - at least thats how it was for me.

You're right. It DOES take time to accept oneself... It comes from the fact that society does not help us to allow ourselves to be different... Sometimes the environment is better than at other times and in other circumstances. Where are the 60s when everyone was experimenting with love and human sexuality???

Why do we have to live in this fear all the time? The fear of being misunderstood, the fear of being rejected, vilified, humiliated, scorned, mocked, ridiculed, hated, killed, bashed???

[hank]

Thanks guys, I appreciate having people to talk to about it.

[gayusasian]

If we can choose, I guess quite a number of us would choose not to be gay.
Life is just much easier.

[fenris]

I think you should live for a while in a gay ( maybe bi ) home .... with gay people.... that you can see whats all possible and that there is nothing to fear...

[hank]

I think you should live for a while in a gay ( maybe bi ) home .... with gay people.... that you can see whats all possible and that there is nothing to fear...

At least have some gay friends, I think it would help to talk to someone. No offense intended here, but as s Simi closeted bi guy, who grew up in a straight world gay guys in my mind are the stereotypical flaming hair dresser. But I have found many guys are not, and even some fakers. Exposure helps a lot