Open relationships

[mihai]

That's why they ivented the therm "bisexual". And it's kinda good to have a open relationship when you are 20-33 , helps out to keep the flame on

[fenris]

I don´t want open relationships


BUT

Its not black and white for me ....


if a friend ( and I mean friend ) stays over night he can sleep where he want to sleep .. in my guestroom or in our sleeping-room...... and there he can choose between a own mattress or on our mattresses ( I hate beds ) with us. For my opinion it is a sign of hospitality... For my opinion I have to care for friends ... that means not just food etc...

And if a friend stays in the guestroom over night... he get some chocolate or sweets or whatever ... something to drink .... and always gets a few towels..... and a couple get some condoms and al what they need for a good night.....

[Beaux]

The short answer: Tried it. Hated it. Don't do it.

Long answer: I didn't always know (for sure) I was gay. I went from "straight" to "bi-curious" to "bi" to "gay". Not really that simplistic, but essentially those were the misnomers, and the order in which I wore them. Three-somes and a few more-somes were part of that transition. Unfortunately, often one or more of the parties involved became emotionally connected and subsequently hurt.
I have met couples who have open relationships, who seem to maintain emotional stability, but they have been few and far between. I do not generally recommend open relationships to others and no longer wish to participate in them myself.
xoxoxo,
Beau

[BobInTampa]

My first long-term gay LTR was open. While we were madly in love, we both knew that sexually, we'd not had alot of experience and decided that it was better to be open then to sneak around behind each other's back....this was not about love/trust issues, we were young, and our hedonistic urges were just too powerful to ignore.

Did having an open LTR end up causing the end of that LTR after 10 years? Yep.

My new LTR is closed, but we do alot of wild stuff - we just don't involve others in our bedroom.

[archubbycub]

Thanks everyone. A lot of great answers so far. Like I said, to each his or her own, I just don't think it's something for me. And my guy feels the same way.

[mrk2010]

Personally I don't think it works, but hey different people have different views.

[Sylph]

Open relationships are not for anyone to judge, they exists and that is that. Some people and relationships benefit, other don't...whatever floats your boat.

Personally I would never be happy in an open relationship, I would never have a fling with anyone else that is in a relationship either.

I'm monogamous and that feels right for me and works for me...but more power to those that have open relationships and make them work

Go Daddy!

Generally, Libra's are Monogamous anyway... it's one of their main traits, though sometimes it can be corrupted by outside influences... :frown:

I agree totally. I could never be in an open relationship, Cuz I no good at sharing! :biggrin:

But green light for the people who can be. I suppose that makes them who they are .

[Sylph]

That's why they ivented the therm "bisexual". And it's kinda good to have a open relationship when you are 20-33 , helps out to keep the flame on

Well technically... Bisexual means a person who likes or is attracted to both Sex. There are instances where Bisexual people engage in Menage' a Tois, but that's not the "Mode" or "requirement" of Bisexuality, or the way they have sex. Gay people do it as well. Some Bisexual people stay in pairs only, with their partner, and some Bisexuals[more than two] can come together in a relationship, but that can be said about any body, straight/lesbian/gay/transgender/ whatever.

Not every Bisexual relationship has to be Open or Polyamorous.

And not every person who has an Open relationship is Bisexual.

[Pix]

Generally, Libra's are Monogamous anyway... it's one of their main traits, though sometimes it can be corrupted by outside influences....

That's not what I heard.

But then I thought planets (especially Mars & Venus) and one of the asteroids (forget which one) had a lot more to do than sun signs on determining how a person approached romance & sex (houses also matter). Then there's Uranus in Libra:

They may have a hard time remaining loyal to their partner. If marriage is to succeed, they need space. They may have relationships that start or end abruptly. They may push the traditional perspective with an open marriage, multiple partners or other unusual partnerships. They may tend towards anarchistic behavior, or be known for their eccentricities

[princealbertofb]

My first long-term gay LTR was open. While we were madly in love, we both knew that sexually, we'd not had alot of experience and decided that it was better to be open then to sneak around behind each other's back....this was not about love/trust issues, we were young, and our hedonistic urges were just too powerful to ignore.

Did having an open LTR end up causing the end of that LTR after 10 years? Yep.

My new LTR is closed, but we do alot of wild stuff - we just don't involve others in our bedroom.

I think part of it is that as we grow older (and wiser?) we grow out of it... and the urge is no longer on getting as much sex as possible, but more on building the bonds that tie which are generally financial, emotional, caring etc...
My relationship with my partner is 'technically' open, because I did not want to assume that I could be enough for him especially when we are apart for lengths of time, and also because at the beginning of our relationship, I didn't know how strong the bond would be; It would appear that he's not been tempted to go seeking sex or romance elsewhere, and neither have I.

I also believe that this open relationship thing has partly been imposed onto the gay community because of the difficulties in finding reasonable and compatible sexual and emotional partners. It's a bit more difficult for us guys (and gals) when there's so much around to destabilise our relationships.
It all becomes much easier to stay monogamous when, at last, our relationships are recognised and respected by the rest of society.

As for open relationships, they are not the behaviour pattern of the sole gay community. Straights have mistresses and lovers just about as much if not more. But society is very hypocritical about this fact. Gays have long enjoyed the fact that being in a same sex relationship didn't have to be bound by the same behavioural expectations as the normative heterosexual family unit. (no kids, no such responsibilities -- hedonism is completely ''permitted'' and understandable, I guess). The rest is a question of morals and emotional or sexual comfort.