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Advice with dating someone in the closet
#11
i've been in the closet all my life. never date someone who won't come out, it never ends well
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#12
All you can do is talk to him and be there. Understand that he feels he has to be in safe mode and, if he does decide to come out, make sure he knows you are there 100% no matter how much shit hits the fan.

If he needs space, give it, let him come to coming out on his own terms. Some never do but some that might not have will when they know they have a support system in place and, there is someone that will love them and be there even if it's a long time before the friends and family they have now adjust and accept who they are.
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#13
I've been in the closet all my life and will probably remain so. If I was ever to date someone, its just one of those things they'd have to understand (but I also would let them know early on..wouldn't try to hide it or lie)
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#14
myapple Wrote:Hmm I would talk to and ask him about it. Not pressuring him, just having a calm and collective conversation about it. If that doesn't work, then I would give him some space and time to think about what it is he's doing. That's all you can really do at this point. You have to let him come to his senses on his own. It's totally normal behavior for someone in the closet, unfortunately.

I totally agree with this.

72jay Wrote:I've been in the closet all my life and will probably remain so. If I was ever to date someone, its just one of those things they'd have to understand (but I also would let them know early on..wouldn't try to hide it or lie)

This is me too, I will probably remain in the closet, not a problem for me, I'm happy like this.
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#15
I too have been in the closet all my life. And doing all right with it. I suppose. In till I started hearing all this dialogue about coming out. And it was a must and so on. It felt like I was being pressured into doing this thing in order to be right or cool or what ever.It almost seems trendy or the in thing. I don't care to be trendy, cool is okay. I just want to be good in my own skin to be at peace with me.Actually there has been no need to say anything no one has ever asked me about my orientation. I take that back one time a long time ago. Actually I was pretty much offended that someone I hardly knew was asking me something as personal as who I was f***ing. They didn't get an answer they got my rant instead.
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