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Is This Wierd of Me?
#11
Rainbowmum Wrote:Look at it as an opportunity to set the guy straight.Wink2

No pun intended? <3 lol.

~

I say there's nothing to worry about. He may not even hit on you at all and if he does, just politely turn him down. It's only that simple.

It's only unless he doesn't leave you alone, do you whip out your Taser and say; "Back it up"Loveya .
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#12
Well you can bring your lover with you and let them know you are spoken for
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#13
Mr. Not So Lonely Wrote:Well you can bring your lover with you and let them know you are spoken for

Well yeah...if he wasn't 3000 miles away visiting family. Smile
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#14
Fight or Flight.
Fight: If you do go, look on the experience as an opportunity to practice skills that will serve you in the future. Approach it as a chance to learn and grow. If you can wear a ring to show as an ice breaker that you are unavailable it might help. Practice saying "Thanks but I'm not into anything without my boyfriend," then go put it into action.
Flight: If you choose not to expose yourself to the situation at least ask yourself are you avoiding temptation because you're tempted or are you simply avoiding the discomfort all together because you have better options?
Let us know what you decide! Smile
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#15
I guess I would need to know what flirting means to you as I think it means different things to different people.

I am a natural flirt and that is pretty much a prerequisite if you are gonna successfully bartend in a gay bar...but I am NOT a Jerry Springer guest waiting to happen...I am an ethical slut:biggrin:

Meaning...If you are with someone else...I do not flirt with you. It is disrespectful to the partner. If you are a couple and you both flirt with me then OK but only if it isn't creepy and there is no underlying competitive or jealousy thing going on....

Just remember...you have no control over what other people do but you do have control in how you respond to what other people do.

If you do go for any reason and he does flirt with you.....I would just smile and blow it off...or in a flirty manner tell him that he is barking up the wrong tree. Try not to be defensive or angry or uptight about it because that could be a sign that you are "protesting too much"
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#16
Archubbycub, I'm guessing you are still uncomfortable with the whole thing and since flirting with guys does not come naturally, you're worried. But do you have any guarantee that anyone will want to hook up with you? As East so clearly stated, you are responsible for your own acts, and behaviour, but you can't stop someone else being attracted to you if that's what on their mind. The polite thing is to engage the conversation on another subject and see if there's any other reason to like these people, past the sexual attraction thing... Since you're not looking for a relationship, either they'll find you to be a good friend to talk to, or they'll disengage from the conversation and go looking elsewhere for their bit of fun. No need to be catty about it, unless drunkenness or drugs make them a bit too clingy. Firm but not catty. Roar!!!!
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#17
You might want to find what the objective of the party is. might not be a great idea to go to a place where there's a disproportionate about of single people and 'bad decision juice' flowing.

It's not about trust. Humans are but animals, without their inhibitions. Smile
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#18
Again, thanks for all the great advice. I talked with my guy about it and he thought I should have gone. He said he totally trusts me to do the right thing of anyone should flirt with me an he thought that getting out and having fun with like minded people would be good for me. He even said he'd been hit on while he's been away but he just ignored it because like me he doesn't want anyone else.

I think a lot of my hang up, again, is I'm not comfortable with it, for whatever reason. Now when it comes to my bf, I love it. But with someone else it's just....different. I sometimes have trouble telling when I'm being flirted with too. Obviously if you read any of my first posts on here when I was asking if the guy I'm with now was flirting or not! Which, I'm happy to say he was! Smile
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#19
Archubbycub, you'll figure it out. Confusedmile:
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