Long distance love...

[ulissesgr]

Hello there... I have a problem and I need some advice... so.. for the last four months i had a relationship with a really nice guy... he fell in love with me from the first moment he saw me, he said so, at first I didn't want to let myself to feel something else because I knew from the very first time that we met that he will leave the country in 4 months... after his confessions and tears and texting - calling everyday I couldn't keep my feelings so i fell for him as well... in these four months we both felt things we did things that we never did with anybody else before as we confessed to each other... it was true love... so he left... so far away... that's almost impossible to travel there time to time... he will come back in 8 months... and we said that till then we're not gonna see other people because of our feelings... it's been more than two weeks that he left and we still talking everyday... he said that he wants to live the rest of his life with me... that he really loves me and that i mean a lot to him... he asked me to leave my country and follow him... my question is... we said that we're not gonna see other people until he comes back... can i trust in him?? i know that i'm willing to do so but i have doubts about him... he keeps saying that he's really not gonna do anything sexual with other guys but when he left before going to his country he made a few stops in others and in one of those he created a profile on a gay dating site... when i asked him why he did so he said that he didn't know why and that he didn't meet anybody... and it was like 3 days after we separated... i want to believe him... i know that he loves me... but i don't know if he'll keep his promise... is it too much to ask him to wait for 8 months when we'll be together again?? anyone experienced something similar here?? please reply to me....

[Rainbowmum]

Hi ulissesgr,
First let me welcome you to G.S.

Sweetie , you can not have a relationship without trust.
Trust is the corner stone , without you have suspicion that leads to insecurities , jealousy and eventually resentment.

As for him making an account , of course he know why he did it , don't swallow that lie.

Now if you want to follow him around the world , make sure you can support yourself ,food, job clothing, rent and most importantly a ticket home.
Sweetie if he cannot give you a straight answer regarding the dating account, then ask yourself how far can you trust him, more importantly are you willing to throw caution to the wind and let him whisk you away?

We are all here for you.

[Blue]

The only way to win an other's mind, body, soul and love is to win there trust first. Has he won yours? I don't think he has or you would not be asking these questions.

Granted it may have been a spur of the moment wanting to see what other fish were in the sea when he joined that dating sight, and it really is nothing to worry about, but he knows that. He needs to tell you that himself.

Are you willing to risk your home and everything you have there to follow him? If not, do you trust him not to find someone else and, to come back to you? Would you be okay if he did find a temporary lover while you are apart but still came back to you? All questions only you can answer, and I think in answering them you will find your final answer.

[watkins]

Sounds like you really love this guy but joining a dating site is a pretty bloody big alarm bell. Don't let your feelings cloud your judgement...

[Bowyn Aerrow]

He may not be cheating yet, but it sounds to me he wants too.

If one is in a monogamous relationship one doesn't place online profiles on dating sites. One doesn't have the Grindr app on their phone. One doesn't go to gay bars and pick up on other men.

Sounds to me this guy is on a round the world trip and is trying to come up with BF's in every port of call that he can use for his own sexual pleasure, leading them on with hopes of long term relationship when his intent is solely to have a bed warmer at every port.

Oh he knows why he mad that profile. No he is not telling you because he knows that there is no logical, rational reason for making a profile on a gay site when he is in a monogamous relationship. Or he just isn't that good of a liar.