How do I know my roommate wants to hook up?

[Sade]

Age: Around 20 I think....

Since you two seem to have talked about so little, maybe now you should start showing interest in him - as a friend, not as a bed-buddy or whatever.

.
Well, we share common interest in cats, but he is more into Video game, and I am into movies. (Or to be more precise, I should say I hardly ever play video games, and he hardly ever watches movies).

So I don't know if we share enough for a traditional friendship, or whether I am even emotionally capable for it.

P.S.

Actually I just verified from the leasing documents that he's about eight years younger, and past 21 this year (I guess I got used for him to be in his teens).

[Sade]

Maybe he's not into you...
Or maybe he's just shy.

How do I know a guy is interested in me? Usually there is sustained eye contact and friendly smiles.

Everything else is basically a guess.

Yeah, he can be very shy: get's intimidated whether I bring somebody into the house while he's in the living room, even if it's a next door neighbor.

I guess I will keep watching for that sustained eye contact & smile, although it may be hard for a shy person to do that even if they like you. Can't it?

P.S.

Oh, yeah if his brother is gay, is he likely to be gay too? (His brother left me (as a roommate), when he found a gay guy to live with, and I had no idea he was gay - and I've lived with him for some years too)

[LateBloomer]

Yeah, he can be very shy: get's intimidated whether I bring somebody into the house while he's in the living room, even if it's a next door neighbor.

I guess I will keep watching for that sustained eye contact & smile, although it may be hard for a shy person to do that even if they like you. Can't it?

Yeah! It can be near IMPOSSIBLE.
Take it from the guy who calls himself LateBloomer.



This is why I'm recommending that you try to relate to him in a real, genuine and personable way.

Why? Because it lays down a solid foundation of trust.

I understand eating from the same plate while sitting next to each other and drinking from the same cup might actually OVERWHELM a very shy person. But if you guys started up a BBQ and opened a bottle of wine (or some shit soda pop) or a couple bottles of beer and just started talking about the damn food, and the neighbors and other things you have in common, then WOW, suddenly you might learn something else about each other, like what blows your hair back in bed!

Just imagine! No more guessing. But then your mystery would be solved and things might get really boring at that point....??? Who knows?

But you need to ask yourself, What do I want from this relationship? Just a warm body to share the rent? Or a warm body to share my bed?

[pellaz]

the gay population is 5% so there is a 95% chance that he is straight. look else where to resolve your dating needs, dont mix things up unless you want to afford the whole rent payment.

he might decide to leave if you start of date steady anyways.

keep the larger kitchen knives away from him.

[Blue]

What you wear does not indicate any sexuality. while yes it's more likely for a gay man to wear dresses and such, that is not always the case. There are many heterosexual, transvestite men out there. If s guy wears pink or lavender, maybe he just likes that color.

As for running around your home in underwear, pajamas or trying on the t-shirt you just bought, that's pretty normal for anyone, male, female, straight, gay, bi or otherwise.

The bottom line is there is ONE and only one sure way to know what another person's sexual orientation is and, that is to ask them. Anything else is, at best, educated guessing.

Honestly, you don't even know his exact age or birthday without having to look it up? You don't know if he's dating anyone and, you are roommates. I think you need to get to know who your roommate is as a person, a potential friend before you get into anything about sex or sexuality.

In the mean time if all you want is a hook up, go find a local gay bar, and take a condom with you.

[Rainbowmum]

Cutting through to the chase here.

Can you afford to live without a roommate?
If you do hook up and then it doesn't work can you still live with each other?

I really think it is time to talk about this with him ,tell him you are gay, wait for the reaction.

Golden Rule , if he has not told you he is gay then don't assume he is.
Best of luck.

[outthecloset]

While I have no business giving advice giving my situation as my name states. But why not try leaving subtle hints around the house and see what his reaction is. Maybe leave a gay magazine somewhere. If his brother is gay I don't think he will react in a negative way if he finds out. So after he gets the hint he will either make the next move or tell you how he feels about you being gay/bi. Either way I don't think he will be upset about it.

[JustAGay]

Cutting through to the chase here.

Can you afford to live without a roommate?
If you do hook up and then it doesn't work can you still live with each other?

I really think it is time to talk about this with him ,tell him you are gay, wait for the reaction.

Golden Rule , if he has not told you he is gay then don't assume he is.
Best of luck.

I am of the same belief as Rainbowmum. Be honest about the situation. If yall are having a meal and are relaxing you could just throw it out there like you know I am gay/bi right? Specially if his brother is gay its not going to be phase him it will just open the relationship up some more.