Che4ers for the words guys... I will admit my relationship with my ex was ment to be as friends however it is slowly turning into hatred and anger towards him as he has thrown everything in me face and im still in debt lol but ive decided rather than give him satisfaction ill just ignore him blocked on facebook and when im at work i know he has resigned so it has made things a little easier... Someone did ask me last night if i would take him backj and i said a simple... No because what we had was special and i am now getting my life back and learning to live again... Of course i get down sometimes but when i do i just stick on one of his copied Club CD's turn the volume up loud in my car and lift myself up...
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My latest little brush with suicide was on August 5th. I was getting on the highway driving home from work when I seriously considered just stopping in the middle of the road and laying there just letting the first one come and hit me. I didn't, so then the whole way home I thought about just speeding up as fast as I could and crashing in to something and hoping it kills me.
I didn't. And the only reason was because it was my dad's birthday and he had found out the day before his best friend died of heart failure and I figured it'd be a dick move to kill myself on his birthday especially when he was already dealing with something so awful. It was the only time I've ever seriously contimplated suicide while not drunk.
I think it's kinda weird you post this at a time when I happen to be at an all time low but I am unsure of what to take away from that coincidence...
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