Oh wow...did you out the guy? Did anyone else know about his sexuality?
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The only ones I told, other than you guys on here, are the 4 people I talked to in the meeting. I don't know how "out"'he is, obviously not very. And now work is probably going to be a lot more awkward and uncomfortable! God I really fucked up this time!
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You did what was best for you, and didn't let it escalate to something worse for you. You did the right thing.
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So why do I feel like such an ass now?
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No one ever said protecting yourself was easy, just smart and right. Trust me I've been there and had to a lot more uncomfortable things to protect myself. No it isn't always easy and, sometimes it feels downright rotten when you do it, but, better that than the alternative.
I also suspect not all of what you are feeling is because you spoke up. Some of that is likely you feeling violated by what he did and, that is a horrible feeling. Just remind yourself that you never asked him to do that and, did nothing to indicate you wanted his attention, you only tried to be a friend, tried to do a good thing, he's the one that tried to pervert your efforts.
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I haven't thought if it that way, but I guess in a way I do feel violated. He broke my trust in our friendship and acted in a way that was totally inappropriate, given his position at work. But in the same token, I'm afraid this is going to end up going south on me quickly. I don't want to go to work and feel uncomfortable but I also don't want to lose my job or have to switch jobs because of it either. Me and my fucking mouth!
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It might be a bit rough for a while, but things at work will simmer down, and I'd bet no one makes advances at you again there, if word gets out who reported him. It might be just he gets talke to and nothing more is said.
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And see I feel bad about outting him, regardless of how small a group it was. Mainly because the same thing happened to me, essentially. Only I wasn't hitting on a co-worker.
Once and for all, did I do the right thing?
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Once and for all, did I do the right thing?
It depends on who you ask really......
The chorus here seems to be on your side and has encouraged you to do what you did...so my guess is most or at least some people here think you did the right thing.
I would have made a quite different decision..but then again with the circumstances you described...... for me it would have been a complete non issue....
In the end...the only person who can truly answer the question "Did I do the right thing?" is you because it is you who will have to live with what you did...not anyone else.
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