Interesting developments!!

[dfiant]

I would like to add that it really shouldn't matter what anyone here or at work think, yes most of us agree with you, some of us would have handled it differently, BUT what you felt dictated the way you responded, so you have handled the situation you are in the way you felt was best at the time, we don't have hind sight so it is bloody difficult to predict what is going to happen.

So what you have to do is stand by what you have done as actions in your best interest and deal the outcome rationally rather than emotionally.

There is no right or wrong in the predicament you find yourself in, there is only what was in your best interests.

[archubbycub]

So as I said in the How Are You thread, work was a lot better today. Apparently they have him on administrative leave pending the investigation. I have to admit though, I was more than a little apprehensive going in today.

[Blue]

I think you will be fine there, if others come forward, he may not have a job but, you did what you needed to do for yourself. Maybe he would have gone farther with you, or someone else had you not spoken up.

[Nick9]

I have to admit though, I was more than a little apprehensive going in today.

So, basically he didn't force you into anything, he just (politely?) asked you, and you outed him and he may lose his job and very probably may have hard time to find another because of the investigation...

[archubbycub]

Thanks Nick! As if I didn't feel bad enough!

[Talby]

Thanks Nick! As if I didn't feel bad enough!

You asked for opinions, and he stated his rather mildly. I agree with him, though . . . it must be terribly embittering to be scorned in such a way. However, I don't have all the context, so I can't really offer anything beyond a few superficial comments.

But you should move on, now, what's done is done. <--- It's good advice, even if its taken me three years to accept it, haha.

[Nick9]

sigh...
archubbycub, another advice you didn't ask for: if you want sympathy, don't ask opinions.

Our words and acts can ruin lives of others very easily. I am not telling you that that is exactly what you did.
You said that he was closeted. You said that you had had absolutely no idea about him being bi. Maybe because he had done great job hiding it? Why do you think he would have done that? Out of fear that it would ruin his life?

If he hurt you, blackmail you, bully you, forced you into anything, I would be the first one to say Report him. But this...

If something like this happens to you next time, just take a deep breath and try to look at it from the other person point of view.
You have the same powerful weapons as the others have in their hands. People around can hurt you, you can destroy them.
Think twice before using those weapons.

[archubbycub]

Ok so I over reacted to the situation. But I can't change that fact now. Even if I told HR I want to drop the investigation, I'm sure all they would say was it's too late and they have to investigate it now. So now I have to deal with the consequences and move on.