Don't know what to do at all.

[Anonymous]

There's this guy i know, who i'm kinda friends with though i've only known him a couple of weeks, and i know he's gay and he knows i am.

Anyway the thing is i really really like him, i've been out with him a couple of times with some mates and had really good nights out, but nothing more than a hug has happened between us. But i really want more to happen, bit of a mega-crush going on i suppose.

I get the feeling he likes me too, but i don't know if that's just wishful thinking or not. He always puts kisses at the ends of messages, or when he's going offline and stuff. And i always get the feeling he's flirting online (though with it being online i dont know why i think that haha) with some of the things he has said.

I really dont know what to do, i want more than just friendship with this guy, but i dont want to cock up (no pun intended) my friendship with him if he doesnt feel the same way. How do i find out if he feels the same or not, and if he does/doesnt what to i do???

HELP PLEASE... mile:

[Enigma]

Lord Lad. It's staring you in the face!! He wants closer with you just as much as you do with him and just like you he is afraid to break the ice. Just skirt round the subject gently. Like asking him what his preferences are in bed or similar. Softly softly catchee monkey as the Chinese say.

[Shadow]

It's refreshing to see that you don't want to just jump in with both feet (although I'm equally sure you would, if the opportunity presented itself ).

If I were in your shoes, I'd look to increase the amount of time you spend together. Invite him to the movies - out for a drink - for dinner perhaps ... don't do it all too quickly, but wanting to spend time in his company sends a good, clear, strong and pleasant message that you like him, and you like being with him ...

From there, listen to what he's saying - a lot of things get dropped into conversation whether you're aware of it or not ... sometimes we just need the ears to listen mile:.

My advice is therefore not to crowd him, but to try and invite him out for a few sessions (of whatever you both enjoy), to see where the lay of the land lies.

HOWEVER, ordinarily ? In MY experience ? Your gut instinct is rarely wrong, so I'd say it's quite possible you're right about the vibes he's giving off ...

Just don't do too much too soon !

.

xx

!?!?! Shadow !?!?!

[Anonymous]

If I were in your shoes, I'd look to increase the amount of time you spend together. Invite him to the movies - out for a drink - for dinner perhaps ... don't do it all too quickly, but wanting to spend time in his company sends a good, clear, strong and pleasant message that you like him, and you like being with him ...

Yeah i think i might try that. It will have to be next week though as i'm having to go home this weekend (know him at Uni you see) . Could have been going out with him tomorrow night but can't due to going back
Its just so hard to know what to do, im useless at working out how people feel towards me and stuff, also im really knew to the gay world and such so...thrown in at the deep end springs to mind. :confused::confused::confused::confused::confused:

[Shadow]

Well, for what it's worth, I'm sure I speak for all the lads here when I say we'd be MORE than happy to welcome you into our group - there's plenty of wisdom, wit, caring and consideration that can be obtained through speaking with the guys that use GS, and we're always very happy to give you our sincere and honest advice.

As for working him out, don't worry too much about that - as I say, once the setting is right, things should start to piece themselves together for you with less direct input from you ... if that makes sense ...

... and whilst I do empathise with you being gutted that you won't see him sooner, a short absence can make the heart fonder mon ami .

Hope that helps a bit ...

!?!?! Shadow !?!?!

[Anonymous]

Thanks Shadow and everyone mile:
Well i met him for a coffee and chat today just the two of us, and i really enjoyed it, only makes me want him more though haha.
I found him looking directly at me a lot of the time and looking into each others eyes, well i know i was definately looking into his and he didnt seem to break the eye contact.
I still don't know if that means anythng though, i mean we did only meet for about 45mins in the end. Saying that some mutual friends of ours came in and he didnt invite them to sit with us (and i certainly didnt) despite their being plenty of space at our table....once again no idea if that means anything though :confused::confused: lol
Can you tell im a very unsure/easily confused person about this kind of thing?

[marshlander]

Can you tell im a very unsure/easily confused person about this kind of thing?

Yes. Quite cute, really

I don't know if this counts as any kind of useful advice, but if you think you want it to last you have time to take things slowly; if you think he's going to get away, push things on a bit! It's your life. You have to do what you feel is right.

Good luck!

[Anonymous]

OK so an update is called for methinks.

After going out quite a lot with the guy last week i finally plucked up the courage, with the advice of my friends, and you guys, to tell him how i feel about him and to ask him if he felt the same way.

And the result? He said no he doesn't like me in that way. The thing is he never gave me a reason why, and being kinda upset at the time, i didn't ask as i was trying to keep acting normal.
The other thing is at the back of my mind i have a strong feeling that while he said he doesn't like me, he might like me, but just isn't ready or is worried about going further with things (to the best of my knowledge he
isn't very experienced and is very shy so). Saying that though i know i could just be thinking that he does like me, becaue i want him too so much my mind makes me think he does.

I really don't know what to do next, do i hold out hope that he does like me, even if i may be disappointed again. Or do i just move on (not that there is anyone to move on to mind). And if i do keep holding out hope that he will like me, how do i play it, what do i do? I mean i can't really ask again or it could seem a bit stalkerish.

Once again i really dunno what to do, any advice you may have would be really really really really really appreciated, like i've said before i'm so new to this kinda thing, and despite nothing actually really having happened, i feel really out of my depth.


Thanks xx

P.S. Sorry for the anonymity, it's just if he is on this forum (which he may well be i dunno) i don't want him to know it's me, or that i'm talking about him. If that makes any sense whatsoever.

[marshlander]

OK so an update is called for methinks .... If that makes any sense whatsoever.

Not in the slightest, but when did affairs of the heart ever make sense

To be honest, it sounds like you've given it a shot and he's not ready. You can't force someone to behave how you'd like them to behave. Probably it would be most sensible to put it down to experience and move on, his loss after all

If you cannot bear to be away from his company, you could try just being friends, but that often has special complications of its own and could cause you a lot of emotional upheaval. It's not an option for the fainthearted.

FWIW I think you are wise to avoid being seen as a stalker.

Regards

[princealbertofb]

I'm thinking that if you've settled to move on, even if there is no one else new to move on to, maybe you might mention it to him, that you'd like to keep his friendship,next time you meet but you'll move on to someone else if you meet them (for love purposes etc...). If he is the way inclined that you think he is, and if he fears to lose you as a potential paramour, then he might be making the next move. If he's really not ready, then he'll let you go and should be happy for you to be happy. That is, if he's a good friend. Otherwise he might want you all to himself... And then the sparks can fly. LoL. But don't count on it. Everything in its own time.

PA