Straight Friend

[michaelson]

One of my friends is straight, but he seems to enjoy a certain amount of homo-erotic expression with me. He asked me a few years ago if we could be naked together when we're alone. It's now a pretty regular thing for us to pull our penises out when we're alone together and just sit there with our dicks hanging out. He usually gets hard for a while and then it subsides, but there have been times he never gets hard. He often wants to cuddle, but he never has wanted to go further than cuddling and exposing himself with me.

I'm trying to figure out what is the deal with this guy. He's married, happily, with children now. I'm a pretty good friend of his wife and she knows about and approves of us having this type of experience together. I'm certainly okay with what we're doing now and I'd be up for sex if he wanted it. His wife actually told me once that if sex happens she's okay with it, but doesn't want to know. He doesn't even seem to be aroused by the thought of going to bed with me.

For the few years we've been doing this the most sexual thing he's done was a few times he masturbated with me. His wife was pregnant at the time and he said that he'd not shot off. We did together, but he didn't let me touch him.

[Blue]

So many possibilities. I won't even get into them all here but, the only way to know is to ask him. Might be he just likes looking at other male privates, might be bi curious, or it might be other things where he's more comfortable exposed and cuddling with a man than a woman and, needs that without the sex from you or, it might be something else entirely.

[outthecloset]

Wow, can't believe his wife approves. But anyhow, if he has gone that far I think maybe he is bi curious but scared to make the next move.

[michaelson]

I've asked him. He says he just likes seeing my penis and likes me seeing his. Men don't do that though. How could he just like looking at it.

[Blue]

Oh men do do that, and a lot more. If that's what he says, then take it as just that.

[Double007]

I'm thinking he's had these desires for a long time and ended up getting married without dealing with it first. The fact that he knows you are gay, I guess you have told him, is a comfortable avenue of dealing with his desires without being judged. I could see him on the fence. The fact that he likes to cuddle is pretty intimate. His desire to see your penis and you to look at his could be what one day helps him figure out his sexuality. I was similar. Ever since middle school, I liked to look at guys in their underwear. I told myself I just had a thing for guys in their underwear, but as time has gone on, I have fallen for some guys and am wanting more, including cuddling. I see nothing wrong with you guys "hanging out" as long as you are okay with it and are not expecting much from him. I wouldn't be too pushy about why he's doing it. It's nice that you both have a safe place to explore things. Some of us would love that.

[Pix]

I've asked him. He says he just likes seeing my penis and likes me seeing his. Men don't do that though. How could he just like looking at it.

It appears they do:

http://www.utne.com/Mind-Body/21st-Centu...addam.aspx

Men’s interest in women’s bodies is well known, but the next visual cue may come as a surprise. Men are more interested in penises than women are. An eye-tracking study found that, when viewing nonerotic images, men consistently direct their gaze to the male crotch, through women rarely do. In porn, the penis is always under the spotlight. On the adult website Fantasti.cc, the predominantly male users rate more than 1 million images and videos. Out of the 100 top-rated images, 21 feature close-up shots of a penis. And on all of the major adult video sites, “Big Dick” is a popular porn category.

Read more: http://www.utne.com/Mind-Body/21st-Centu...z2AdXSxP2n

But men aren’t satisfied by checking out other men’s penises. They also like to flaunt their own. Chat Roulette is a website that allows users to randomly connect to other people around the world. Once you enter Chat Roulette, you see whatever other people have chosen to place in front of their webcams—a party, a cute kitten, an old man with a beard. One blogger recorded what he saw on 1,276 consecutive sessions: 298 webcams (about one in four) were aimed at a penis. Perhaps men are tapping into an ancient display mechanism we share with other primates.

While straight men have a deep-rooted fascination with penises, gay men are positively obsessed with them. Feet, butts, and chests are also highly popular in both gay and straight porn, as are domination, submission, group sex, amateurs, and numerous other interests. With so many parallels, Internet porn suggests that gay men share the same visual cues as straight men

Read more: http://www.utne.com/Mind-Body/21st-Centu...z2AdXfoRUh

[Rainbowmum]

IMHO ,he is slowly coming to terms with his sexuality.
It's up to you if you want to remain his experimental buddy, but please do not get your hopes up.

I would hate to see you get hurt.

[Person66]

I agree with Rainbowmum.
I'm curious though: Is he attractive or at least cute?

[michaelson]

He's attractive; he's got a really well built body so the shirt off is great. I will say he is not someone would have sought out however.

I guess I kind of expected this to go like some of you said. Where he realized he liked men and we started as least blowing each other. It seems that it's been too long without him wanting more for him to ever want more... I have been with other guys who claim to just be curious and things generally move really fast once the pants come down or they decide its not for them and stop.