How do you cope with the holidays?

[archubbycub]

Ok so I know not everyone on here celebrates Christmas and all, but I was just wondering how those of you who do celebrate, but are like me and dealing with all the bull that the world dumps on us cope with the emotions and loneliness that goes along with it?

Please don't get me wrong, this isn't just about not having someone special to spend the holidays with. A lot of it is coming from the fact that Christmas is my most favorite holiday of the year and I am use to having my kids here on Christmas morning, waking up early for them to find their presents under the tree, then spending all day with the family doing absolutely nothing. And this year I doubt that will happen.

So, what advice could you all give to someone who just can't seem to find the holiday spirit?

[lizzielee]

Can you negotiate with your ex and see if you can at least have them for half the day so you could do either lunch or dinner for them................

[Pix]

Years ago I used to have like a potluck for Thanksgiving and Christmas for those of us who couldn't be with families for whatever reason (sometimes simply because of circumstances, other time because the family didn't want anything to do with them, including for being gay). It worked for me and many of them to feel better and feel more plugged into the holidays.

Just be careful that everyone knows how to do what they promise. Like one Thanksgiving (2007, and a Thursday, I still remember!) the guy who said he'd make the turkey bought it the night before Thanksgiving when it needed 2 days minimum to thaw so we had to put it off until the weekend.

Oh, yes, one has to be careful how others react. For example, some thought it was funny how I'd refer to the turkey (or whatever, it wasn't always turkey) as "the sacrifice" but others found my doing that disturbing. But normally it went really well.

[Blue]

Me? Relax and don't bother looking. Sure, if I'm invited I might go to a friend's for dinner or something, maybe, if I feel like it and they don't have a bunch of obnoxious kids coming over.

I don't do gifts, not for Christmas or any other holiday except with my partner (which I sort of don't have this year.) I host Thanksgiving most years, but won't be this year because everyone already made other plans.

So I'm relaxing and enjoying my nice, quiet holiday season.

[archubbycub]

I'm not sure of working anything out with the ex. Her family has a huge celebration every year that last pretty much all day long. And besides, the only way I can see them is through my parents.

[Rainbowmum]

As a father you do have rights , try and work something out with her.

[Kiid]

Easy I let mun do it

[monk]

Stock up on the food and drink, lock the door and tell everyone to bugger off until New Year!

[archubbycub]

Yeah Mum I know I have the right to see them. She's talking to my parents about them going to my sister's place, which is about 30 minutes away from where she and the kids live but 2 and a half hours away from where I live, and my parents and I coming up there to see them. And I'll go so I can see my kids, but it's going to make for a long ride home, even if things go good.

[EvenOlderButWiser]

Christmas has always about the kids for me.

This will be the first year that I don't go see them on Christmas day. Too grown up and doing their own thing LoL.

If not with my kids (or immediate family - Mum bros/sis etc) then Im with my partner and his family for Christmas. New Year we try and go away somewhere, otherwise its fairly low key.

ObW