cheating, i am soooo good at this

[pellaz]

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[Marc]

Simple.

Kick him out, you are worth more than him, he does not deserve you.

Don't let him treat you like this, I didn't with my ex.

Good luck.

[LateBloomer]

A couple of thoughts.

1) When my BF stated his desire for unconditional love, I actually refused. I said, No. My love does has conditions (rules). The first is no cheating. The second is no violence. If either rule gets broken we're finished.

I admit it's easy to say. I hope (pray) I never have to take this test.

2) Fool me once. Shame on you.
Fool me twice. Shame on me.

Best wishes friend.

[pellaz]

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[mihai]

i mean after beign in a relationship for so long. he does this things haha Sounds wierd , anyway i guess you are in a quite long relationship and you understand each other bud , you always give advice like "you know what to do" . (if i would ahve been you , i would find a hoter guy than the one he is cheating you and let him catch me; probably it will light the spark again )

[ChadCoxRox]

midlife crisis exacerbated by substance abuse...how much more are you willing to take?

what is his potential to work through this to the point of being the mate we all ultimately long for (those of us interested in such)?

I am hurting just reading this thread. I will be thinking of you and wishing the very best wishes for clarity of mind and strength of a good heart as you find your way through it.

[Bowyn Aerrow]

AA interventions usually end up with very mixed results. More often than not the person starts hiding their drinking/using and playing at being a 'good boy' when in truth is they have a lot of resentment for being told that they have a problem.

Drinking/using is one of those things that the person has to reach a 'bottom' or a basic understanding that they have a problem, thus be willing to look for help. Is he there? Does he think he has a problem - or does he rationalize that its only on the weekends that he drinks thus its not really a problem?

I would suggest Alanon meetings for yourself:
http://www.al-anon.alateen.org/

http://www.al-anon.alateen.org/local-meetings (meeting locator).

http://www.al-anon-co.org/ Colorado Alanon website.

There are others like you who deal with another person's drinking problem, they are a support group and they can give you lots of good advice on how to deal with the day to day aspects of being around a user/drinker.

As for the cheating aspect, I do not know. Does this relate to his drinking, meaning he cheats when he gets drunk? If so then his alcoholism may be a bit more complicated than just needing a drink.


Would couple's counseling do anything here? I do not know. I have no idea the full story on both sides of the coin here. Does he even want to try? Can you live with this 'stain' on the history books and move forward?

What is it that you really need and want from this relationship? Is he able to give you that?


My personal and recent experience is screaming 'Don't give him another chance, he has had two already!' But this isn't me and my ex, this is you are your partner and only you have the whole story on what is going on there and only you know your limits.

I would suggest you get him sober and then ask him where he sees this relationship going and how much is he willing and able to do to keep the relationship going.

Set reasonable goals, do not expect him to up and stop drinking cold turkey. If he has a drinking problem then he needs to go through a process to achieve sobriety. He may stop drinking, but that will do nothing for the alcoholic character, the traits and mind-set that accompanies addictions. Those will need work - and that is a very long process.

IF you want to give it another go, then AA meetings (for him) Alanon meetings for you and couple's counseling if you both feel willing and able to work on the relationship at that level.

My heart goes out to you.

[pellaz]

this made me cry, thanks everyone.

[Watermark]

Second time... sigh...:frown: Sounds that he cant help himself. If you ask me don't stick with him in hopes that he wont cheat anymore - you are worth more.

[pellaz]

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