I asked a guy out and he said no

[andrew]

It sucks, but I'm not as upset as I thought it would be.

I met him through volunteering. We became pretty good friends right a way. We started texting...okay I started texting him and invited him out to see this electronica noise venue. After the show we grabbed subs and talked about dating, what type of guys we're into, and our plans for the future. After that we headed to train station, but before we separated I asked him out. He said he was in no condition to date anyone. I was bummed..I still am, but I'm glad I asked.

It just sucks, cause he's the first guy in a long time that I asked out and he said no.
How do guys deal with this?

[brituc1]

Just forget about it and try not to take it personally. Not every guy you ask out will say yes and if he's still willing to be friends then at least you havent lost anything. There are plenty of other guys out there. At least you had the courage to ask, you'd be surprised how rare that is.

[Rainbowmum]

Let it go sweetie and do not take it personally , he may have just saved you from being the rebound guy.

[Pix]

I generally take it as it's not a good time then or we're not compatible (and I'd rather not waste time anyway, and would I want a yes if the answer was no?), so it's no big to me.

Sometimes I think the time spent fishing helped. I'd throw out old bread or crackers until the fish came up to eat it and then bigger fish came up to eat the little fish and then I'd put my hook in. Most fish avoided my hook but I got enough to get by and that was the important part. IOW I know instinctively there are plenty of fish in the sea and missing a nibble isn't the end of the world, another one will be along soon enough.

[monk]

He said he was in no condition to date anyone.

^ Remember this part especially. The problem is with him, not you.

Better luck next time!

[Corsac]

Just continue as normal like the friends you were before you asked him. Who knows, maybe he will come back and ask you another time (I've had this happen before with someone I worked with).

[kentucky_boy85]

I am a very loving person and I look at it as if they're turning down the opportunity of a lifetime to find someone who would stick with them through thick and thin. It's a stereotype but true: Good men are hard to find these days.

[andrew]

Thanks guys!

[princealbertofb]

Hey, Andrew, hello and to GaySpeak. What you need to understand is that this guy was not in a position to date anyone. Maybe he's not ready, maybe he sees that it wouldn't be much fun for you, let say, if he's still too much in the closet, or for any other reason he hasn't disclosed. He doesn't want to date you? Fine, what about just being friends then? It sounds as if you'd gain so much by just having him as a friend. See if anything comes of it after you've been seeing each other a while. You know that, for the moment, he's not interested or not in a place (mentally or realistically) to date you, so it leaves your options open in case you do find someone to date. See what I mean?

I think "in no condition" means he's not ready for it, or he can't afford to be seen with you. Maybe he doesn't want to disappoint you if you're completely out and he's not. There would be a difference in expectations in the relationship if that were the case.

But I don't know you or your circumstances, so I don't know where the discrepancies lie. Are you getting over it?

At least you had the courage to ask him. I don't know if it took guts on your part, but it was still brave of you, and probably sweet and romantic. Oh well, someone else will pick you up on it, some day.

[Evan88]

I think the problem is on him..
You will find your match soon, dont worry. It really comes unexpectedly.