Well Im new... why else would i post in this forum...

[Tombo]

I hope it all goes well for you

[seeking]

And ill probably get asked, does your wife know about him.....

The answer is yes... why lie to her about it....

I've a question,
when you say your wife knows about him,
do you mean she knows about the relationship btw you and him,
or she just knows him and see him as a friend of yours?
that's totally different...

[megumidesu]

I've a question,
when you say your wife knows about him,
do you mean she knows about the relationship btw you and him,
or she just knows him and see him as a friend of yours?
that's totally different...

that is a very very good point

[Rainbowmum]

Hello Chuck

I hope it all works out for you.

[Chuck92]

DYNAMIC OF MY WORLD, sorta
Well back in January, I accepted my sexuality of bi-sexual.... I love my Wife and Kids and wouldn't change anything there, thought to myself then I have to break the barrier and tell her!!!

In April, I had my first experience with a guy and to tell you the truth, i loved it.... a few months had past since then, started looking online for hookups, but i didnt find that, i found a lover instead, we were together for two months, but he became abusive and i was like im done with that.... so i went dormant until september...hooked up with a few guys then i finally met my lover... it started out as just chatting online, then October 14 we decided to meet up and we clicked even more, started having serious feelings for him and he the same... a months gone by and we're still together, we live 90 miles apart and only see each other when we both have the time... but we stay in contact daily whether it be by phone or messenger.

Their Point of View on the Relationship --
When i came out to my wife about being Bi-Sexual, there was a lot of tension between us, because she was in utter shock, that she never noticed. So when i told her that i was dating someone, she was a little upset, but then we talked about it. asked her questions about what she thought... her main thought was.... As long as you come home to me every night, im fine with it, and no sneaking around my back...

My Partners' Wife, I dont think she has a clue about his real sexuality to tell you the truth, I told him that he needs to sit down with her and talk about it.... I dont like lying about mine, i makes me sick to my stomach... Because who are they to judge you, not everyone is normal and really what is normal these day?

My Partner knows that my family comes first, this works well for him since he is very discreet and we cant physically be together everyday....

TO STATE A BOLD POINT TO ALL OF YOU..... MY KIDS ARE # 1 IN MY LIFE, NOTHING GOES AHEAD OF THEM

If my wife ever decided to have thoughts of another relationship, being with another man is out of the question, In my mind, once a woman has found another man, there is no relationship with the one she is leaving behind.... Ive never been with another woman, so would i allow her to be with another man. For her wanting to be with another woman. i could work with that, if thats what she want, i would be very accepting of it because im dealing with the same situation now. We've agreed on.... That i won't go see him, without her knowing, what are plans or intentions of doing are. and so on....

My Partner is fully closeted, isnt out to anyone except for a few guys that he's been with in the past.
Myself, Im out to my wife, her mother, her sisters( which are bi-sexual and lesbian), my own mother and very select friends that i cant trust with the information but they are in the dark about my m-m relationship except for my wife, she knows....
It is possible that we are both gay and just using being bi-sexual as a cover.... its crossed my mind a few time... but both of us being from small towns, it makes us feel safe, until the time is right and we are both sure of the reality, we are claiming that we are bi-sexual.

Just to clarify, My marriage is strong, getting through this endevor will be challenging but it will make our marriage even stronger, because a real marriage works through difficulties not run away from them.... *** In response to anyone that says to just get a divorce.... What does getting a Divorce prove? That your not willing to work through tough situations. Im a fighter and i am not one to give on something that ive work so hard on....

[WaltHitman]

I hope it all goes well for you

Me too. Kids are littler so always protect them is the only experience advice I've got to offer

[Aro]

Hi and Welcome

[princealbertofb]

Chuck, you've done the right thing. You are lying to no one, you and your wife come from rather unconventional backgrounds (she does at least) so it's good that you can live your life that way. You have sorted quite a few things out, but your partner may still need some help. Tell him to join the site if you think it would help him.
I'm glad you've felt you could trust us with all this information.
Lastly, but firstly really, I'm glad to hear that your children are paramount in any relationship you may have. I'd like to break it to you... lol: you may be a GAY dad... So's my partner. He's had 6 children and now is a grandfather to NINE: :eek:... seriously though, love them all. :biggrin:
Welcome to the flock, Chuck!

[princealbertofb]

By the way, Chuck, strong and lengthy, informative, post. Thank you. As for divorce, I don't think you need to do it, if that's how you feel. Keep that for a later date, if you feel it's necessary for your emotional balance, and for your wife's sake if you are no longer enough for her emotional and sexual needs. Otherwise, just thrive in all your humanity. It sounds as if you're a LOVER.

[Counselor]

*** In response to anyone that says to just get a divorce.... What does getting a Divorce prove? That your not willing to work through tough situations. Im a fighter and i am not one to give on something that ive work so hard on....

I would have agreed with you three years ago. I realize now that my marriage was little more than my "proving" that I could be straight, and maybe change my mind about my sexuality. My ex-wife loves me (still), and she did every last thing she could think of to make me happy, but I didn't even see it. In our case, divorce was very necessary.

I am in no way trying to imply that this is your situation, but divorce doesn't prove anything, on it's own. It does prove necessary when one person in the marriage finds their affections invalidated, and my ex-wife was very shocked. She thought there was something wrong with her, that she had been married to a man she only knew half-way. She called it "the ultimate trump", and that she "couldn't beat it". I asked her once if she thought it would be better if I was bi, and she said no, because then she "wasn't enough".

Be grateful for what you have. It is rare.