Before I came out (and afterwards too), I had a crush on a girl, the only girl I ever had a crush on. To sum it up, I have a crush on her for over a decade and she just didn't have any interest in me and she knew I was gay, and you just have to come to terms with it and realize they aren't a part of your life, they don't want to be part of your life that way and have to let the feelings go. I still think about her and have that thought that you know wouldn't have been nice? I haven't felt that way about anyone as a person since. Its hard to find someone that really special, heck it could just be pheromones. Either way the mental part is the challenge...
![[-]](https://gayspeak.com/images/duende_v3_local/collapse.png)
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Mike Wrote:I've got some answers for you, buddy:
First, it is obvious he wants nothing to do with you. Don't keep asking him about it, you already have your answer, sweetie. I know there must be a gnawing desire inside you, that keeps convincing you, you might be wrong, and that until he's given you your answer, you have no idea whether he wants you, or not. But sweetie, this has got to stop, you're making yourself miserable. This is your answer: He wants nothing to do with you, as tough as it may sound.
Second, you have to find some things you can occupy your mind with. Go out with friends, have fun, don't just tell yourself how miserable you are.
Third, as hard as it may be, you have to actively go out and seek out the company of a new man. Go out on dates, look for them online, if you have gay friends, ask them if they have someone for you. I'm speaking from experience here - the only way to get him out of your mind is to go out there and find someone else, someone who gives a damn about you, sweetie.
And I'm here, if you want a shoulder to lean on.
Thank you! I think I've gotten past him, I've got my sights set on the future. There are better men for me.
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axle2152 Wrote:Before I came out (and afterwards too), I had a crush on a GIRL
Hello, you're supposed to be gay. How can you have a crush on a GIRL?!
(That would make you bi)
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Mike Wrote:Hello, you're supposed to be gay. How can you have a crush on a GIRL?!
(That would make you bi)
Not necessarily, depending on the circumstances of when he realized he was gay, how practiced he was in his denial, etc.
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i think crushes aren't really very good indication of your sexuality ~
anyone can get a crush on anyone else . straight guys get "man crushes" on other guys . gay guys can probably get crushes on girls . what would you call that , though ? "girl crush" ?
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megumidesu Wrote:i think crushes aren't really very good indication of your sexuality ~
anyone can get a crush on anyone else . straight guys get "man crushes" on other guys . gay guys can probably get crushes on girls . what would you call that , though ? "girl crush" ?
How about "fag-haggl'n"?
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Counselor Wrote:How about "fag-haggl'n"?
that just sounds like you're trying to buy stuff at a market place ;P
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So I had another dream about this guy, but this time he approached me and asked me to attend some function he was involved in. I told him "maybe", and he became indignant. I felt pretty proud of myself when I woke up.
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no, Counselor, you're not talking out of your ass. You're talking like a human being.
as someone who is coming to grips with unrequited love, man, it is right up there with the hardest things a human heart can bear.
your heart chakra... well... you are probably in love with him.
do you think you could deal with being just his friend? I'm stone in love with a guy but I don't think he thinks of me in the same way. Meanwhile other guys who are interested in me I have no interest in because I'm blinded by my love for him. Who says Venus the Goddess of Love doesn't have a sense of humor/irony/cruelty.
As old as I am, as many times as I have been on both ends of this equation, you may not want to hear this but the only surefire way is Time.
For closure, you might want to meet with him, tell him *exactly* how you feel, if it's not reciprocated, depending on how you feel, you may just want to be friends.
Easier said than done.
That's what this guy gently tried to tell me, but at this point it would be too painful for me to be around him as just friends.
Brother you are beautiful for who and what you are. If he does not appreciate it in the love sort of way but rather in friendship, maybe he's not the right guy the Fates have ordained for you as a mate. Maybe there is another guy out there, maybe even someone you haven't met yet, who you will feel, not what you feel for this specific guy but the unique way you will feel for... _______?
I promise the emotion will pass and he will get out of your dreams over time. I promise. For your own emotional well being, if he doesn't reciprocate... you need to let it go bud, for your own happiness.
Take care of YOU. First and foremost. Be kind to yourself. This too shall pass.
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be honest with him bro. if he reciprocates, cool, if not, grieve, then move on.
life is too short man to dance around it for this long...
best man. you're beautiful without him.
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