I really hope this was a first time thing for you that you'll handle better in the future and I really think you might be happier in the end if you avoid working with people so young. You're too vulnerable yourself and I see this happening again....and again.....like a alcoholic that can't understand what's wrong when he works at a liquor store. It's really gratifying to teach and I think if you could be teaching in the "safe zone" at least, when you botch it up doing students, they'll at least be your age and subject to a lot less damage from it.
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Having left this thread in a huff some time back and realising it's bad form to come back in such circumstances, I'm going to anyway.
Alexander, you must appreciate that if anything you do results in even the faintest suggestion of a complaint from anyone you will find yourself in the most serious trouble.
No authority and no court if it comes to it will have any trouble interpreting your actions as grooming. Look it up if you are in any doubt as to what it means or the very dim view the law takes of it. Bear in mind also that you are operating against the background of a moral panic on child protection issues in the UK at the moment so no rational or emotional argument will work as a defence. In this climate there probably is no defence; society wants scalps and it will have them.
If I were you I would at the very least stop discussing this in a public forum, you are fairly easily identifiable from the little biographical information you have given and it is very likely that an offence has already been committed.
I am not a lawyer, so you may take the foregoing in any way you like but I am also not a person who routinely makes apocalyptic prognostications on the internet. I say what I do here from a position of rational detachment and out of genuine concern.
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Here's to a less confusing, hurty and more gratifying work and career!
Best Wishes for that Alexander
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I want to point out that you have handled this situation (since asking here about it) with a remarkable amount of maturity, and extracting yourself from this situation and the possibility of similar future situations seems like a very good move for you. Do something where you can make friends with more adults, maybe.
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I think you need to find some professional counseling ASAP! Clearly you've lost your professional perspective on this and are unable to act or think rationally.
As a teacher, you know that you're putting your life and career on the line. If you "date him" and it's discovered, you WILL be dismissed and NEVER be able to teach again. If you can't grasp this concept, THAT is proof that you need to seek professional help.
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Alexander, I wanted to give a word of support as I really feel for your case. I grew up in Russia, and while it is irrelevant I just wanted to mention it as a way of saying I probably can imagine your daily life with a fair amount of approximation. But more importantly, I want to say that you have been dealt a tough hand and I want to send hugs your way.
I hope it is not a cruel thing to say - what if you are trying to leave it behind and all advice here just feeds the pain - but I believe in miracles and want to say this: go on with your life and let the fortune take you places, and if it is the true love and meant to be - he will find you 3, 4, 5 whatever years later! Love is not a deed of one man. It takes two, and it is ok to just float in the hands of fortune for a bit and see where it takes you. Let go, put it behind but don't regret - lock it as a treasure memory and see what the next day brings in, and then next and next. It is pain to deal with unresolved tension and heartache, but it is precious to experience what you experience - love, albeit all pain - than to experience nothing. Hugs, man. Time will cure all pains, fortune will bring you to where you should be.
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I wouldn't feel bad. We are human and we develop those kinds of feelings. However, I do need to remind you that your job at the school is to teach and not to fall in love with students. Yeah, you might feel an attraction, even both ways, but you need your job and he needs to be a kid. Whenever, I find out that someone I've got my eye on is way younger. I tell myself, that it would not have been good for me if someone older and wiser let me get involved with them. I was younger and didn't know a thing about life. It would have been wrong if I had gotten involved with someone in their twenties when I was 15. I had experienced life yet. So, my advice is let him experience life. Someone, just right for you, will come along.
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I'm in love with my student, what should I do?
