You've been here longer than I have...I'm not sure about the etiquette here, but it's cool you're posting now!
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Chris it IS a long journey, sometimes, accepting who you are and trying to appear to the world the way you really are. It's odd and difficult to come to the awareness that what people see and think they know is nothing like what's inside. And this can lead to quite a lot of depression.
I believe that what you've been taught about gayness is how you will consider it yourself, to a certain extent. But YOU know that what other people say (who aren't gay), what the media has sometimes put forward, what the churches say about gay people and their so-called lifestyle, YOU know that all that isn't necessarily YOU, so how can they be right?
The unlearning of all these falsities, of all this disrespect, of all this misunderstanding and ignorance is very hard to do and it leaves traces, notably in people's self esteem.
Well, let me tell you one truth, Chris. You and your sexual orientation, whatever it may be, are OK!
You're not a weirdo. You're not wrong or immoral. You're not sick. You're not perverted. You're human, and part of the rich fabric of life.
Welcome to your new world.
(PS It also takes time to know this new world, and can occasionaly feel quite strange to whoever tried to think they were straight.)
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You guys are getting me to open up a little so if u guys dont mind i will share some more ifo about myself...I am totally in the closet , and only had relationships with women..I opened up to myself quite a bit to my self this year through some dating apps and expierimented a little this past summer..I call it a lil soul searching...Long story short i met a guy at the beginning of the summer didnt really think to much about it but became attached 2 months in...we ended up wanting 2 different things and it ended and it hurt me bad..So even though it was very hard for me i dusted my shoulders off and had to let him go...still have feelings for him and miss the holy crap out of him....I have a wonderful job and i am currently in the process of buying my dream house , so with the way things are in this world i consider myself fortunate and dont take anything for granted....I am comfortable with myself and have lived on my own for 8 yrs , but i would be lyeing if i said i dont get lonely at time...Thats why i need this site to help me thru those time..I believe there are some very good ppl on this site and hope to build lots of relationships here...Well thats enuff for now ..Thanks for reading
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