stormy weather

[rover330]

just broke up with my bf today.... as i've mentioned before, his mother feels threatened if anyone comes between her and her son. so I preempted the situation and told them both I hope they will be very happy together. And I reckon that they will. There is something odd about a 40 year old living with his mother and saying he would never, ever, consider living anywhere else.

there are supposedly very strong storms moving into Kentucky
tonight. I wish I had someone to cuddle up to, guess not in my future.

peace

[rover330]

guess mamas are very, very strong in a young gay man's life....

[megumidesu]

just broke up with my bf today.... as i've mentioned before, his mother feels threatened if anyone comes between her and her son. so I preempted the situation and told them both I hope they will be very happy together. And I reckon that they will. There is something odd about a 40 year old living with his mother and saying he would never, ever, consider living anywhere else.

i hope you're okay

but that pretty much just makes me think of




probably a really good idea to get out of that relationship ...

[rover330]

but I love him. he just doesn't love me back as much as he loves his mom.

thing is though, at some point in your life, aren't you supposed to leave your mom?

[Tyrion]

Yes.. and not even considering the idea sounds like a really unhealthy way of thinking. I can understand living with your parents.. but there comes a time when you need to move on and grow up..

[rover330]

what I was told was that I obviously don't love my mother.

I would agree with you that that is indeed an unhealthy way of thinking.

[megumidesu]

what I was told was that I obviously don't love my mother.

0___o

that's a ridiculous thing for him to say ~

i moved out of my (adoptive) mom's house when i was about sixteen years old . doesn't mean i love her any less than someone who stays with their mom for longer does .

[pellaz]

there are all kinds of relationships. You found one that is not compatible. I know you feel bad right now.

[Rainbowmum]

Please stay safe and do not go out unless you really have to.

[Pix]

I have no idea of the specifics of his sitch but generally speaking it used to be normal for people to stay home their entire lives. Machiavelli even warned in The Prince that killing a guy was one thing, but taking his property was the stuff rebellions were made of because property didn't just belong to 1 or 2 people, it belonged to an entire family who expected to hand it to their kids in turn, and while most were willing to overlook a member being executed (especially if he'd been stupid enough to make waves), they weren't ok with losing their ancestral home, the future of their kids (and where they expect to die, at least if they're lucky), and likely their livelihood. IOW, generally speaking from a historical perspective, we're NOT meant to leave our moms.

I don't think that started changing until about a century ago, and didn't become commonplace until I think the 1950s. And while I'm all for people who want (or are forced to) going out and finding their own homes (I left home at 16 and didn't return until I was almost 22, and then it was a brief visit), and I do realize that some family relationships are unhealthy (or at least disturbing), I think society has suffered a lot for the breakup of the family (meant to include grandparents and sometimes extended family as well). Without that support structure big government and big business has become a lot more powerful than it would otherwise be, and it's harder for communities to weather natural disasters and many are more vulnerable to criminals (though OTOH they're less likely to be killed in drunken family brawls...).

My family is still pretty old school with homes passed down to the next generation and the extended family sharing a lot of land together. Granted, it's common for the grown to get say their own trailer right after they marry, but they're often in sight of the home they were raised in and it's expected that one day they'll have the home back, and I'd say they're fully grown adults as they pull their full weight (actually we're expected to help work the farm that helps pay the bills before we're teens, and we don't even get an allowance for it, it just covers our room & board). I'm the exception in that I left for California when I was 16 and I may not ever return...though if Granny needs someone to care for her I very well might for that reason alone.

Some interesting drama coming up is Granny is leaving me her home while Mom is waiting to get it. I'll let her live there, even have the master bedroom with me taking my childhood room back if I ever move back in, but she's probably going to be extremely ticked off anyway when she finds out I own it.