Yeah, I stopped doing work for her business now. She's on her own. The last thing I did for her was go there during a blizzard to put up sheetrock that she said had to be on the walls that day or else the tile guy wouldn't be able to do his part. She never even asked me if I made it there safely or if the driving was bad when I got back late that night, no expression of concern at all for my safety despite travel warnings all day and radio broadcasts telling everyone to stay off the roads for safety until the road crews could clear it up the next day... Of course the tile guy didn't come the next day, he was wise and waited a few days for the roads to be cleared and then still didn't start his work until a week after that. Made me feel very used. I even asked her if she was worried about me at all, and she said no I'm a safe driver so she figured I'd be fine. Woulda been nice if she at least seemed concerned...
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You sound like a decent, upstanding man....who could ask for anything more? She obviously never appreciated what she had, which is very sad. Id kill for a decent, upstanding man. Well, not literally.
LOL
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So far the kids aren't quite sure what's going on. I haven't explained it to them yet, not sure if my wife has over this weekend or not while they've been with her. I can tell they know something is going on by their behavior, they have regressed a bit independence wise, wanting me to do things they can do for themselves very well (putting on their shoes, helping them get dressed, etc.) I chalk that up to they're trying to see who is there for them with whatever they need, and contrary to my normal parenting technique (never do for your kids what they are capable of safely doing themselves to help teach independence), I've indulged them a bit with it lately since I can tell it's from them having insecurity at the moment. The past several months have brought my oldest even closer to me, before he was kind of a momma's boy, now both seem to be daddy's boys. The kids are 4 and 6 years old so pretty young.
My greatest fear in all of this is how this affects my kids. I know kids are supposed to be resilient, but that is little comfort. I don't want to mess them up for life. I also want to make sure my kids never loose touch with anyone previously in their lives over this. I hold family bonds sacred and want my kids to know their entire family tree on both sides. I make sure to never ever utter a negative word about their mother (generally I try to avoid being negative period) when they are present as she is their mother, my disagreements with her are my issue not my kids'. I hope my wife is reciprocating on that. I don't want to put the kids in a position of having to choose one parent or the other. Both parents should be in their lives as equally as possible.
So we'll see how this goes over the next several months. Personally I just want to move though this phase before starting anything new in my life as I've got enough to handle already. As Pellaz insightfully noted, I probably would be too needy right now in a relationship with someone else. I need to get in a better life circumstance before I would be ready for any romance again since I have nothing extra to give at the moment emotionally.
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Should I change the locks?
to the forum.
