Do you refrain from going to family functions too, because...

[Mike]

My parents and my only sibling know about me. The extended family doesn't. The mention of me coming out to my extended family sends my mother through the roof. She cries and begs and shouts and gets crazy-mad on me. I do understand her - her family is more and more becoming slime.

I am not one to shy away from confrontations, not by a long-shot!
In this case, I do understand my mother.

Anyway, this has led to me not going to ANY family functions. I believe if I were given the opportunity to tell them, I'd be happy, or more like ecstatic to go to family functions, but since I just can't lie to them, when asked when I'm going to be the next to get married, looking at them, wanting so badly to tell them and have them confront me to the point of them maybe getting "educated" by me in the near future.

Has this thing ever happened to you?
Are you familiar with it?
Do you think I should force myself to go?

Do you feel the same?

Thanks for everyone who replies!

[brituc1]

Before I was out, I just always gave vague answers. "Do you have a girlfriend yet"? "Nope". But then again I've never really been close with any of my extended relatives except an aunt and uncle, so I didn't care if I lied to them or not. I guess my best advice is to go with ur gut. What will make u happier: telling them and having ur mom pissed at you or not telling them and keeping ur mom happy?

[Bowyn Aerrow]

My mother was a witch. No literally, I'm not using the term as an euphemism. Along with forcing me to do things which no child should be doing, she also had a bit of a temper and some mental/emotional problems which frankly she most likely should have been institutionalized for. Yeah she was a bitch too. She would be the first to let anyone know, damn she even nick named me 'son of a bitch' and screamed that at nearly daily. So I guess she was proud to be a bitch.

My father is no better, and the list of atrocities he dished out while not the same is sufficiently sick and twisted that anyone who knows half the story wonders why it is I am well adjusted and not in the mental health ward myself.

I distanced myself from my family when I was 30. Which has gotten at least one therapist to ask me why on earth I didn't do that sooner.

My mother died in 2007.... I just found out this year from a source who didn't even know my mother, he had the foresight to know where to look on the internet.

That is how close I am with my family. People die and I have to rely on tech savvy people to discover their death date years later.

In short, I had very good reasons to distance myself from my family. But there is a downside to all of that.

I would literally kill to have a relationship with my family that would allow me the opportunity to have such an insignificant fight over something as silly as ones sexual orientation over the holidays.

I would gladly welcome the chance to stay in the closet to keep a loving mother from fainting or whatever over finding out I'm gay.

To me your reason really pales in comparison, in fact it is pretty childish. Sorry, that is how I see it. You most likely have to be me to understand that.

[pellaz]

to a Single Gay Man in Tel Aviv (Israel); you got cultural differences, deal with them.

[Evan88]

Its my current dilemma right now.. Im still 21 and not yet asked if when will I get married & other stuffs similar to that but then what if the time comes.. What will I do? Hmmm..

[ceez]

I get asked that too, usually followed by "I'm going to pray you find a good wife", and I always want to add "with a big penis" I still go to family functions though, we are a pretty close family which makes me feel kind of guilty sometimes when I hear about all the other family horror stories.

[mrk2010]

I go to all family functions as I have a really good and supportive family and tbh none of them care that Im gay. Id say go to your family function, you dont have to announce your sexuality right then and there lol

[Pix]

Since I'm over a thousand miles away (over 2,000 km) away it's really just not that much of an issue. But in the summer of 2011 I did get confronted on how I was 28 and not yet married or with children by an Aunt who was on her third husband with kids by each one (others pretty much backed her, however). Given the intense heat I was cranky and snarkily asked her advice roughly saying, "As many times as you've done it you must be an expert." I think she almost got violent with me. Maybe she would've if I hadn't braced myself with the attitude of "Bring it."

I think my family knows deep down but they don't want to deal with it...and I don't force them to. I've always been independent anyway, and as I say I'm so far away, so it's no big for me.

I had a dream once that made me laugh on waking up: I was visiting family and they took me out to a restaurant where they then introduced me to the man they wanted me to marry to have kids as I was supposed to. I pretended to be happy, excited, and accepting, but slipped away the first chance I got to catch a train back to California thinking, "So long, suckers."

[unkown21]

Im not out to any of my family. They are very religious and non accepting of gay people at all. Also my crazy asshole of a grandpa believes that all gay men are pedophiles and it pisses me off beyomd comprehension. But i shy away from family functions because i know my extended family would disown me the second they found out, and that upsets me, so i dont hang out with them

[Marc]

Tomorrow, it is Christmas Day.

Tomorrow, as I am a trained Grade 1 Chef, I have been volunteered to cook for the family.
My Family consists of mainly Military types, my Dad was an Officer in the Royal Marines for some 30 years before retiring in 2008.
He fought in numerous conflicts, including the Falklands War, and ended his career commanding 42 Commando Barracks, which is notorious for discipline.
My older brother is in the Tank Regiment in the Army, and my sister is married to am Army Captain,
So, they are all big characters, and all are very much anti gay.

My Dad tries to be understanding, and we do get along, but I haven't seen my Older Brother, and Sister, for nearly 4 years.

There is also 32 people coming to my parents for Christmas Dinner... so it should make for an interesting day.

I would love to avoid it, but Mum asked me not to.