Sexually abused by “straight” friend

[seeking]

seeking: the reasons don't matter. Johnsomebody needs to move on and build his happiness, not excavate painful events that are over. Motivations will only serve Brian as excuses, possibly to do the same thing again. Violence is a choice, and unless John wishes to fight back, the option left is to turn his back on Brian and move forward.

When I wrote that I was so impacted by John's issues and those are what I was thinking, i thought maybe the reasons could help. But yes on second thought the reasons don't really important and it is not necessary helpful, on the other hand it might deepen the wound. So to John, I also agree that it's better to move on and don't let the past hinder your life in front.

[Corsac]

Have a self-respect! Leave him on his own, discover himself on his own and live a FREE Life and if you want to find someone, go on find someone to love someone who has unconditional and unlimited love for you who deserves you. You already have a life of your own.

Personally I think that telling JohnSomebody to have some self respect like that is actually disrespectful in itself, It's like saying "Yeah you got beat up and abused, but man up". When someone has been abused or attacked in any manor it can make a huge impact on the rest of their lives, some people end up living sheltered lives out of fear that the same thing could happen again.

[rover330]

I guess I would say, if this individual is going to behave like an animal, he should be locked up in a cage like an animal. This is not someone who should be allowed to be alive amongst civilized people.

I'm not really a proponent of euthanizing people like that, however, he has no business amongst civilized people.

[rover330]

we don't let rabid dogs run amok in a civilized city.

[rover330]

just 5 minutes locked in a room with me... it would be my pleasure.

[Pix]

just 5 minutes locked in a room with me... it would be my pleasure.

Just out of curiosity, is this sentiment what inspired your other thread? :confused:

[Corsac]

Personally, I think telling self-respect to John is something that can redeem himself. He must stand up from pain he is suffering and allow no one to hurt him again. He has a right to be FREE and to be HAPPY..

I was simply saying that starting off with "get some self respect" is not the way to start when you try and help someone who has been beaten up or abused, it can set the wrong tone if you're trying to help that person and will more then likely make them shy away from accepting help.

Now tolerating what happened to him and telling him to go back to someone who hurt him in the past is just like a sadist saying "yeah go back to him and relieve the pain, I LIKE IT!" He can choose to abandon it and live a NEW, FREE Life or go back and relieve the misery and pain that it all started with that person.

I never said anything like this, or implied that he should go back to the guy. Creating that sentence in quotes and making it to sound like mine just seems like a bitter attack on me, and it makes you sound like you're trying to put words in my mouth. It sounds like you want an argument just for the sake of it. The only thing I agree on is that JohnSomebody needs to find a way to deal with this so he can move on properly with his life but you've offered nothing constructive as to how he can do that.

I think I will never be friends not even knowing someone who has no self- respect and go back to his painful past no matter how he loved him felt so pathetic and hopeless for such kind of person.

Be sure to let your friends know that when they "lose their self respect" that you will not be there to help them and that you will be judging them over it. You stick by you friends and watch out for them, not shy away as soon as something bad happens in their lives that taints they're views somewhat. Your view on this sounds a little misguided.