Came out (finally) to my folks!

[Drew]

Hey everyone, just wanted to drop in and say I've finally made the leap and told my parents yesterday that I'm indeed gay.

And all things considered, they were very, very good about it. They're not 100% enlightened (my dad was like "oh, be careful, don't go around advertising it because people might not understand, yadda yadda"), but basically it boiled down to "we love you, we want you to be happy, so it's all good."

Never in a million years would I have expected it to turn out as well as it did, but here we are!

So remember: if my old-ass Soviet-era Hungarian parents who aren't the most enlightened people when it comes to things like race and ethnicity can say "son, you're gay, and we love you regardless", YOU CAN COME OUT TO YOUR PARENTS TOO!

Do it; you're life will be so much better and freer afterwards, and will only strengthen your bond with your family. Don't run away from your fears; if a wimp like me can do it, so can you.

Here's to a happy and successful 2013!

[Dan1980]

Congratulations on coming out to your parents

[elad12]

Congratulations! That's great. I recently came out to my family (except my mother). The response was positive from all my siblings and their kids. Feels good!

[ThatRobGuy]

Congrats, Drew! A lot of us, myself included, tend to build up our sexuality as being more important to others than it really is. These days especially, most people don't care and just want you to be happy. I'm happy that was the case with your parents.

[ChrisD]

Congrats Drew!!! Maybe you can give me some advice as I head that way myself

Chris

[Undreamt]

congratulations, wasted no time knocking of a new years resolution eh?

Its amazing how much the reaction of coming out is completely different to what we expect.

[Drew]

Congrats Drew!!! Maybe you can give me some advice as I head that way myself

Chris

Hey Chris, that's awesome! I'm kinda jealous; you're about half my age and ready to come out. It's an awesome time we live in; coming out in high school was just a whisper when i graduated in 2000; now it's the norm.

Are your parents super-religious/conservative? Are you financially dependent and need them with thoughts of going off to college soon? I would say wait if the answers are yes to both. Go to college, meet up with other out gay students, make friends, have fun, stay safe (use condoms), find out more about what makes you you, and come back a stronger person. When they don't have a grip controlling your wallet anymore, then come out.

If they're moderate and not super-religious, then that's going to be up to you. I came out now because I felt like I couldn't move forward in my life until I could. I've been out of college for 6 years, have a good job and have my own place, but I felt like I couldn't move forward, either with my relationship to them or with my love life, until I cleared that hurdle. It just burdens you, even if you're not super-tight with your folks (I love them but I'm not the type to call them daily or something).

I felt like they wouldn't understand; that they were from literally a different time and place (they were born in the early 1940's in Soviet-controlled Hungary, the tail-end of WWII). I felt they would give me shit and cry and be drama-ish over the news that their son turned out to be gay.

I spent the longest time anguishing over their reaction and my counter-reaction, trying to reenact each possible scenario out in my head.

The scenario I hadn't tried predicting/reacting to? The accepting and loving one they gave me.

So, I'm not sure how or why or when would be appropriate for you to come out, Chris; each person knows when the right time is. My time was now. Be smart, follow your heart, and you'll know. But definitely do it when you know it's right: your future will be much brighter and happier after you do.

[Geminize]

Congratulations, Drew! And thanks for sharing. Isn't it surprising how our fears can create their own little alternate reality in our minds? Your parents are great!

[monk]

Congratulations!

Feels good, doesn't it? :biggrin:

[Rainbowmum]

Good stuff , that is awesome.