Oh, oh oh - cleaning glasses.
1. Take off the glasses.
2. Take one eye piece in either hand.
3. Bend until the nose bridge snaps with a satisfying sound.
4. All done.
I now have Barbasol and a razor matted in my hair, how do I clean that out?
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Change the oil in your car, the old oil is great for removing soapy goop and razors form long hair.
Hey, the ice bath worked, now the rest of me is colder than my feet, so they don't feel so cold. How do I get the rest of me warmed up?
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Throw a plugged in heating element into the bath.
I need a sewing machine that threads it's self.
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(Blue/Bowyn, you guys are going to kill me with laughter!)
No you don't, Mum, those sewing machines always have a curse on them placed by Baba Yaga or similarly powerful mythical witch.
I think my cholesterol is too low. What should I do?
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Don't eat any more fat - ever - you may score a zero!
My flat needs decorating.
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Hire 12 chimpanzees and a gorilla. Feed them lots of fruit (stand back shits gonna fly).
I need a man.
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You need a blow up doll and good carpentry skills - the doll will need to be reinforced to be hard enough for you. :tongue:
One of my inverters stopped working so, one of my freezers has no power. How do I keep the food frozen?
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Have your mother in law (or other witch like person in your life) come over and stuff their bra with your food (colder than a witches tit).
There is a poo on the bottom of my shoe, what should I do?
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Ask it nicely if it wants to share it's howse with Piglet.
My phone is constantly roaming.
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Nail it to the floor.
How can I make Jack like our neighbor?
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