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Give Bad Advice
Then make your partner diet for you. (It will work, trust me - I'm straight).

Spring is here, pollen is in the air and my ears are itching inside terribly....
Reply

Cut off those elf ears and change them out for a human set.

I want to date Scott Adkins.

[Image: ScottAdkins-4-b.jpg]
Reply

Become his sparring partner at the gym.

My hair looks flat today should I tease it?
Reply

Yes. Say: "Who looks a mess, then?"

I want calorie-free food - lots of it!
Reply

^Rofl

Eat lots of chocolate just don't swallow it.

I am out of fly spray what should I do.
Reply

Issue the flies a cease and desist order.

This hangover is taking too long to get over. I already did the hair of the dog deal, too.
Reply

Have you considered trying cat hair instead?

I'm afraid of being abducted by aliens!!!!!!!!!!!
Reply

Don't fear the aliens - DO fear the Anal Probes.

My fingernails need trimming (again sheesh they are growing fast)
Reply

keep driving alone Wink

im pretty regular in the morning
Reply

Bowyn - get your fingers removed! No more pesky nails!

T-dub - Next morning do something ridiculously irregular. Like egg a court house in a chicken costume or something.

I neeeeeed to make a cameo on David Bowie's new album.
Reply



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