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Give Bad Advice
Wrap yourself in bubble wrap and go for it.

I need some new tires but can't afford them as yet, what do I do?
Reply

Easy...wait until 3 AM then cruise around until you see the right size tires. A jack, some cement blocks, a tire iron...and you are set!

I want to skip work tomorrow. The weather has been wonderful lately!
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Skip today and Monday as well and have a l-o-n-g weekend.

I want a swimming pool.
Reply

Here is a shovel - start digging:

[Image: url?sa=i&source=images&cd=&docid=Jx9tatS...7670127089]


Its almost 9 am and the asphalt guys ain't here.....
Reply

Call him up and tell him the dead body is starting to smell.

I need to get this underbrush dry, already slashed it.
Reply

Use a hairdryer.

I want to wake up every day being a few pounds lighter.
Reply

Necrotizing fasciitis is said to be able to eat a few pounds of flesh during a 24 hour period....


I need an easy button
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[Image: 22947289_scaled_283x442.jpg]

don't touch it if you are fond of your fingers though.
What is it supposed to do anyway?

Can I have Saturday tomorrow too?
Reply

Sure just go by the Maya calendar.

I need some more sleep.
Reply

take some tylenol pm and drink a bottle of wine

my dog has separation anxiety
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