Give Bad Advice

[southbiochem]

Convince him to kill himself...

I'm depressed right now...

[mbennet35]

Take some ani-depresents and then drink lots of alcohol

I need to go to bed earlier at night

[Bowyn Aerrow]

Drink Monster drinks - 6 of them, one right after the other - chug those puppies.



Look, they are gay and come in seven colors....


My toe nails need clipping again....

[Miles]

Bite them off.

My nose keeps falling off.

[VileKyle]

Duct tape will fix that.

My feet stink.

[mbennet35]

Go to a restaurant and take off your shoes and put them on the table.


I need new shoes mine are falling apart

[trialbyerror]

Go to a restaurant and take off your shoes and put them on the table.


I need new shoes mine are falling apart

An AFRICAN history lesson (Solem….)

Ok, so long ago in the days of sailing ships and no cell phones, there was this very clever king Called Chaka.

He ruled the Zulus in Natal with a real Iron fist. This guy took no crap from his soldiers, but he was really, not a nice chappie indeed.

One of the first things he did was to conceptulise the “ bulls head” attack

How this works is the approaching impies (solders) get within range of the enemy, then they split into two directions (like a bulls horns) and encircle the enemy so that they are fighting on all sides.

Then, for the cou-d-grae the elite troops in the center of the “head” smash into the enemy, just like a charging bull, and annihilated the entire tribe. Men woman and children. Every one was put to the spear. (assagai, or "short spear", another of his innovations)

Nobody lived to tell how the attack worked. One moment there was an entire tribe living quietly, then the Zulus came then there was nothing.

It only took 2 or 3 such "events" and he ruled the whole country with total fear.

But there was this problem, the “sandals” they wore slowed down their attack speed, so he told them to take them off.

When his “troops” complained about thorns and other stuff, he had the training grounds completely covered with thorns then made them dance traditional dances for his entertainment

Anyone, who, according to him, did not dance with enough enthusiasm, was simply killed on the spot. :eek:

That put an end to that complaint

You should hear what he did when his mother died...

Google King Shaka

Now to the point of this.

M, simply take your shoes off, throw them away and freestyle dance on a patch of thorns all night and forever forget about wearing shoes…. :eek: :eek:mile:

I want to stop wearing clothing

[mbennet35]

Granted but you end up with bad sun burn and lots of bug bites every where

I wish that my room was a bit bigger and that I had more room for my books. They are starting to pile up

[trialbyerror]

Granted BUT

You have to re-locate to Japan and learn to write & speak Japanese fluently within 3 weeks or the offer closes

This is what you get...

The biggest 1-bedroom apartment in the world

It almost certainly is the largest one-bedroom in Japan, and at 700sqm+ it is Japan’s 2nd largest apartment.

This penthouse atop Brillia Mare Ariake remains unsold despite a recent drop in the asking price from 1.05 billion to 600 million Yen (7.6 million USD). Not even Madonna’s advertising campaign for the building was enough to secure a sale

Oh BTW Servants in japan are very costly so you spend the rest of your life keeping it clean and don't have time to read your books

Has that stuffed your wish up or what!

I wish I could jolly well get to have my lunch breaks....

[tavi]

Granted knock down one wall and rebuild it with books

Ninjad, k.o’d by the duck!

Granted you have lunch breaks but everytime you go back, somethings broken that you have to fix
I wish i lived in space, I really do