Give Bad Advice

[trialbyerror]

This is a true story, but I'll have to keep it short, which will kill the humour behind, so use your imagination.

A platoon of soldiers = 30 guys.

SA Border wars, 1974, all of us around 16/17/18 years old, not really into doing laundry or mending /sewing......, More into running through dense bushveldt killing terrorists....

Your's truly finds an abandoned concrete mixer lying in the bush inside the camp, decides it would make the dandiest washing machine and get's it going.

Chucks his 3 issues of bush uniform and a prodidgous amount of soap powder in and yanks the pull chord (like a lawnmower) and chug-a-lug, round-'n-round..

Wunderbar! A washing machine! uniform never cleaner, even the black sweat line on the collar of my shirts gone!

This is about where the plot came seriously unstuck.

Chucked in the rest of the platoon's washing, a considerable load indeed.

Chug-a-lug, round and round..... Give it about 30minutes, as there was a lot

Not a button left on the clothing! ...:eek:...

Why? who knows, worked fine on my gear...

I was not the most popular guy around for a long while... Until I found an abandoned generator...

Fixed up lighting for everybody...

That, too went horridly off track, and gave a few of the lads a hell of a rattle, but that's another tale

So my advice, based on experiance....

Get a cement mixer..

I want my hand to heal...

[southbiochem]

cut it off all together...problem solved

I need to stop this streak of low mood

[Jovial]

^ I don't want to give bad advice for that

...so i'll just say hire hooker

I need to change things before this stupid path of self-destruction once again catches up full force... I can feel it coming

[Bowyn Aerrow]

Move to another state/country - change of scene always leads to new ways to really mess things up.

I am out of tea bags and defiantly don't wanna start drinking coffee this late at night.

[trialbyerror]

cut it off all together...problem solved

Ironically, that's exactly what I almost did...:eek:

[southbiochem]

I am out of tea bags and defiantly don't wanna start drinking coffee this late at night.

Grow your own fucking tea plants...steal some from the Chinese government and fuck the consequences..

I need this "date" on Wednesday to go well

[CellarDweller]

be really clingly! THat always impresses guys!

I need to hit the lottery

[southbiochem]

keep spending your saving in lottery tickets..

I need to let go

[CellarDweller]

Just do nothing, that should work.

I want to sleep better at night.

[trialbyerror]

Bend over at 90deg.

Back up +- 20m from a solid wall

run, head first into the wall at full throttle

that should do it...

if not, carry on trying untill you have success

have fun...

I need to get my touchie into gear...