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Give Bad Advice
Never give it to anyone, not even yourself.
My right eye is swollen.
Reply

punch yourself in the left eye so they match

I have had way too much turkey over the past week
Reply

eat peacock instead

im not sleeping enough
Reply

drink ten cups of coffee and eat a whole pack of NO DOZE

my car is making a funny noise
Reply

Make some funny noise yourself too.

I'm lonely.
Reply

Be skeptical of everyone and never let anyone in.

I have heartburn
Reply

drink tea with Xanax

I want to go to bed early
Reply

Go to bed late but change your alarm clock to make it seem early


I need to change the oil in my snowblower
Reply

Send it ISIS, they should be able to fill it.

I need to shave, but I don't have a razor.
Reply

Use a knife instead.

I am impatient.
Reply



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