Give Bad Advice

[Chase]

Call up the queen of England and ask for some.
I need to get a visa to move to Ireland, or the UK, or Canada, or Australia, or anywhere that's far away from You-Know-Who

[Cridders88]

Don't worry about the visa, smuggle yourself in a lorry.

I have got home from work, flopped on the sofa, and not moved. Tea is yet to be made.

[Insertnamehere]

Use your telekinesis. Seriously, give it a try.

I got home at 21:30 from work and I'm in no mood to shower but I feel dirty, unclean, sinful and wrong

[Cridders88]

Do something to make you feel even more dirty, unclean, sinful and wrong...

One more day, then a day off at last.

[Insertnamehere]

Go on and then never return to work.

I took out the sheets but I'm too lazy to put the clean ones on

[Cridders88]

Torch them, along with the bed.

If I went to bed now I'd have 7 and a half hours before the alarm went off.

[Insertnamehere]

Keep posting here forever.

The ye old battle between sleeping with the window open and facing the mosquitoes or the other way around is on.

[Cridders88]

Sleep outside.

I just ate a walnut.

[Insertnamehere]

Now throw it up

My limbs are tired

[Cridders88]

Cut them off, cook them, and then eat them.

I need a wee.