In Bed

[leer]

Hello
So I need a bit of advice on something am 19 Gay and was out to my family at 16 was a tough time but I have a supportive family guess am lucky in that way . Anyway I have only had the one proper relationship that was last year and it lasted 6 months I have had other encounters but didnt last to long The problem I have had Is sleeping with someone having a guy in the same bed as me I just cant shut off and fall asleep I dont have problems with the physical sex department nothing wrong there at all, and its not a problem with the enjoyment aspect having the time off my life there , it`s just the sleeping part . I do have a way of dealing with it couple of beers down me and am out like a light but thats not dealing with issue is it i would happier if i could sleep naturally . so I have a few Questions to ask .

Is it an Issue with acceptance of being Gay ? am hoping not because I know am gay and I fully accept that am gay

Could it be the people am sleeping with? I have slept with 6 guy`s including the relationship I had so 7 in what almost 4 years so It could be I haven't found the right one .

Could it be a Mental Issue ? this isn't something that is freaking me out It`s just a niggling thought that I wish wasn`t there .

I sleep perfect when I have the bed to myself so maybe it`s Greed wanting it all to my self I usually manage about 5-6 hours a night so am not the normal 19 year old
who stops in bed all morning kidding honest

so thats about the size of it all .

Dont see it as a massive problem just I would rather not have the chat up line

Do you mind if we dont sleep together as I have work in the morning ..

[Marc]

I kinda had a similar problem at first you know mate.
But after a few sleepless night mother nature forced me to sleep haha!

It could be you like your own space, or maybe you don't 100% trust the guy you are with, so can't relax enough to sleep?
Maybe its a sex thing.. having a guy next to you making you so dam happy you cant sleep!

It's a hard question for us to answer here really.

So, this was a pointless post because I have no idea, sorry about that! LOL

[SolemnBoy]

I find it hard to sleep together with people too. Once I trust them though, I can usually relax a bit more. If I had a relationship with someone, trust is a given, so I'd probably be able to fall asleep without any worries. Do you think trust might be your problem? o: Although since you can have sex with them without any issues, I kind of doubt that... maybe you're just sensitive and can't really get to sleep with the noise/presence of another person?

Can you sleep together with friends or women without the same problems?

[leer]

not pointless at all mark at least i know am not alone thanks mark

[leer]

I find it hard to sleep together with people too. Once I trust them though, I can usually relax a bit more. If I had a relationship with someone, trust is a given, so I'd probably be able to fall asleep without any worries. Do you think trust might be your problem? o: Although since you can have sex with them without any issues, I kind of doubt that... maybe you're just sensitive and can't really get to sleep with the noise/presence of another person?

Can you sleep together with friends or women without the same problems?

never slept with a women ad never sleep be to busy shiting myself lol

[Bowyn Aerrow]

It takes time to get used to the whole idea of sharing ones bed.

5-6 hours of sleep for a healthy 19 year old is atypical of 'normal'. It is somewhat abnormal. 8-10 hours is more typical of the age. So I have to wonder what types of sleep disorders you have which may be compounded by sharing a bed.

What you didn't discuss is what you are thinking while you are laying there next to them.

We all think, most of us think constantly. I think the key to your issue is in your thoughts as you lay there.

If you are like me it may be the terrible screaming that takes place around 3 AM some nights, you may be concerned that that screaming will wake up your partner. Yeah they usually do wake up in about half the state of panic you wake up, but I discovered that most actually get used to the screams after a several times of it happening. I have night terrors, wake up screaming some nights. THAT is a real problem for sharing a bed and can be a thing that keeps me from going to sleep to begin with.

It may be you are uncertain what is and is not allowed while sleeping. I strongly suggest you discuss with your partner if its ok to snuggle up to them while they are sleeping. Some people actually do react badly to being touched when sound a sleep. Most usually snuggle back unconsciously, or at least lay there and let you snuggle against them.

Are you a violent thrasher when you sleep? Then you may want to seriously consider body pillows laid down between you and your partner. It may not prevent you from giving him a black eye all the time, but it may save the nuts and bolts of your relationship... if you know what I mean.

Some people actually find the whole laying next to another person at night to be so exciting and thrilling they can't sleep, wanting to enjoy the closeness of being in bed with another. Trust me, live long enough with a person and that whole enjoyment of being close to them while in bed gives way to other interesting things, such as you imagining using your pillow to stop them from making that annoying sound, you know, breathing (which is perfectly natural to think about it, its just not OK to actually smother them, its illegal in most areas).

I doubt its an issue of being 'gay' - Again I think you may actually have a sleep disorder under all of this and sharing a bed may be making it worse.

Drinking is not a good idea, alcohol ruins good sleep. If you are really having that much trouble sleeping you should talk to doctor and perhaps get a sleep study done.

[leer]

I have always been a light sleeper even as a young teen say 12-13 ad be happy with 5-6 hours I guess thats just me I am aware that 8 hours plus is normal sleep patterns for people .

I think I do move about in bed I remember one I was in hospital ''fell off skateboard did my elbow in '' anyway I had to spend a few nights their and once I had moved to the other end of the bad in my sleep so you could be right will look at refering to a specialist . thanks for the comment x

[Evan88]

Hi leer! I think it doesn't have to do with being gay at all

It really makes sense that when we're asleep, we become vulnerable and anxious. Have you had any bad experiences sleeping with someone when you we're young?

You also said, you're lenghtiest relationship is 6 months, do you always sleep together?

It might also be for the fact that it really takes time to be comfortable sleeping in the same bed with a person. For example, after one night stand, I think its pretty normal you wouldn't feel comfy at all. However, if you are in a relationship wherein you've been sleeping together for a long time, like 6 months or more, then I think you will be more comfy because you are already used to sleeping with him, and you will have no worries at all. And to think, you've been sleeping alone since time immemorial, that's why its just normal that you feel different when sleeping with a person. It takes time, most especially if you are already a couple for years, you will be used to it.

[leer]

even thank you.
I had my own room when I was growing up was in the Attic bedroom and my twin step bros 6 years younger shared a bedroom so I always slept alone . the 6 month relationship I will admit it ended bad long story but their was much love on both sides . x

[Evan88]

I see..
Good luck.

It's not something to be ashamed of