just a drinking buddy?

[Raccoon]

So I've felt romantically inclined to this guy I know for a while now. we're both heavy drinkers and that's what got us talking really, we understand each other.

I've been into him for a while now, wasn't sure at first but I'm getting more and more interested. I'm not reading any signs from him either though, he says he likes talking to me and that I'm a good guy, but I don't know if he's in any way interested in me the way I am in him.

What;'s worse is I heard from some other people that at a party he was praising someone else about how he was one of the best people he knew and that they seemed really close...as far as I know he's single but I haven't really spoken to him about it. I'm pretty sure he's gay because there's a little jokey flirts now and then.

What's the best way to approach the situation? Should I back off and see how it goes or should I be a little more overt in my approach to him?

[Counselor]

Alcohol is hardly a good basis for a relationship, bubba.

[Raccoon]

Alcohol is hardly a good basis for a relationship, bubba.

you're probably right. But "I got a feeling"

[Corsac]

You need to hold back on that feeling and establish if the person in question is gay (if you don't already know) and if he considers you as more then just a friend. Some people are just very comfortable with themselves and can flirt openly with someone of the same sex without having any real interest of ever pursuing a relationship with them.

[Counselor]

I'm not trying to discourage you, if you want to find out where he stands, ask him. But from what I'm reading, I don't think he's gay. Broham and I have a deal; if I want someone to back off, he's my excuse, and he thinks it's funny. Some straight guys see the fact that they're straight and you're interested as ironically humorous when they can see that you're a likeable person.

But don't let that stop you, if you want to know, find out by talking to him plainly.

[TomStatic]

It is hard to know the real person if they are a heavy drinker, as i consider myself one as well but i know now to cut back on the alcohol as i can be very insane from it , so just maybe try arrage a date even go for one or 2 beer's , all the best

[Geminize]

You could just ask him, of course, but that can be a bit awkward. I suggest responding to his "little jokey flirts". Isn't that what flirting is for? It's possible he's just being playful, but if he flirts and you respond then the flirting continues and escalates... you have your answer. Try it sober, or close to sober. Drunken flirting tends to be louder and more sloppy than we intend.

[Raccoon]

I asked him just now...he's just come home from a party so I know what state he's in...I didn't really get a direct answer but the evidence is still pointing towards him being gay...bi at least?

[Varanus]

Tricky situation but what comes to mind from this is that song by Rhianna "We fell in love in a hopeless place" after all she is singing about falling in love under the influence of drugs and what is alcohol?
Regardless you need to take a step back and re-asses the situation.
Number 1 - Figure out if the man in question is actually gay or even inclined to have anything more other than a drinking partner/friend.
Number 2 - Maybe put the alcohol aside and try and see a different side to each other? theres food for thought.
Just tread lightly, but ultimately its your decision to make not ours, we can only provide our thoughts on your issue.

[Blue]

Get a solid answer, he may just be curious, or be entirely straight. Once you know that, be friends, and, if he gay or bi, let it go where it goes.

Some people can't be rushed, but if you give them time, they are more than worth the wait.