first meeting?

[bakalove]

So we went to see a movie today and it was a shipwreck atleast in my eyes and i'm not sure if it was my fault . It started out me picking him up he has a really strong accent so it took alot of focus to understand him doesn't help that ontop of it I have a hard time understanding people in general (I must be tone deaf or something). So after about 5 mins of discussion I ran out of questions/conversation starters and basically we sat in silence the whole 30 min drive i felt so horrible because I couldn't keep the conversation going and he seemed uninterested in trying to keep the conversation going. Also during the movie i tried the "pressure test" and he moved away so I gave up and sat awkwardly the rest of the movie. When leaving we walked almost completely separate on the way back to the car and it wasn't on my own decision to do that :l. I feel like I completely screwed up but I don't understand what I did wrong. It's not like I wasn't the person I had shown online if anything I looked nicer then I do usually and I'm not an ugly person and I didnt smell bad lol. Donno just looking for input on this it was really disheartening that my first meet up went so badly

[Blue]

The connection just wasn't there. As much as we might try, we can't force that anymore than we can stop it when it does happen.

All we can do is be ourselves and, never loose hope - it will happen sooner or later. Stop looking for a lover and just look for a friend, one of those might just be the one.

[bakalove]

The connection just wasn't there. As much as we might try, we can't force that anymore than we can stop it when it does happen.

All we can do is be ourselves and, never loose hope - it will happen sooner or later. Stop looking for a lover and just look for a friend, one of those might just be the one.

lol kinda killed all of my confidence in getting back out there though

[Pix]

If he wouldn't talk to you anymore than absolutely necessary, not even on the drive, then I wonder why he even bothered to go through with it as it sounds like he just wasn't in the mood for company. That just sounds strange to me.

Btw, I never heard of the "pressure test" so I'm just assuming that means you leaned into him. If it was a date then that doesn't sound inappropriate to me.

And general rule, it's different strokes for different folks. That is, what will appeal to one person will alienate another, so even if you did something here it doesn't necessarily mean that it would have the same effect on everyone else. And not all fish will bite, but sooner or later one will.

And one more thing, if dating is about connecting then it should be more than a movie, such as going somewhere to eat (or even just to the beach, whatever) after to talk about the movie and anything else. Still, given that this was a half hour drive he had plenty of opportunity to talk, but apparently he didn't want to.

[bakalove]

yeah you can only question someone so many times before it becomes redundant and annoying so I gave up after I hit that breaking point. I still felt awful for stopping though :l, my real question is what is the conduct in this kinda situation we both knew we were gay and I'm not the type to flirt or anything but even my little attempts (walking next to, nudging in the movie...) were cold shouldered.

[Geminize]

I'm sorry it didn't go better. Just because you're both gay doesn't mean you're going to fall for each other. It sounds like the communication challenge was part of the problem, and who knows what he was expecting. Maybe he was just too nervous to let anything happen. Don't assume the whole thing was your fault. In fact, it doesn't need to be anyone's fault. It just didn't work with this guy. Take some time to recover, then try again with someone else. (Funny... that's just what I need to hear right now.) There's no approved "conduct in this kinda situation". We all just make it up as we go. Be gentle on yourself!

[Beau]

Sorry to hear it didn't work out Baka. Just know I'm rooting for you man.

[Blue]

That is the thing, there is no code of conduct. Sure general courtesy, consideration and being nice to the guy but, no hard rules.

Fist dates/first meetings are always a bit awkward, most of us tend to over think it,what should we say, do, how should we stand or sit, how close to the guy should we be, etc...

One, of several reason I stopped that looking for a date thing and, just went with friends. Make frieds, just be who you are and, see where it goes form there. now you can dod the same thing on a date, just do what you would do with a friend.

[stpdo2]

It's been a long time since I've been on a date, but yeah they are hit or miss. Sometimes despite everything seeming like it should be a perfect match, there is just nothing there and that's it. Sometimes one person thinks there is something there and the other doesn't and that is a bit harder to deal with. Then there is the rare and wonderful you really hit it off and find a deeper connection that makes you want to spend as much time with that person as possible. Keep trying there are billions of ppl in the world, I'm sure you can find one that you really like and who really likes you back if you keep looking.