A woman that I love.

[hank]

I met her in my freshman year of high school. She is a musician, that is how we got to know each other. We clicked in high school so well. I had had a bit of homosexual love with a boy in junior high so I was deeply confused. I wasn't gay but I wasn't straight either I couldn't figure it out so I just abstained from romance and sex completely, she want really into that stuff either. I want to date her but we have been friends for about 16 years she wants to be a professional musician and I don't want to get in the way of her dream. Somebody told me that is what love is. It always seems as though I an the only one under the sun that didn't notice.

I have kept it in so long my lips tight. She didn't freak out when I told her about Ryan, my first love. And that I think that I am bisexual. I spend time with her, we click even still. Its just like high school I took her camping and showed her my way of having fun. Her little bro came with us a well as a few other friends. But I got to show off my manliness and my wilderness knowledge which impressed her.

I really think I have always loved her, I am afraid to talk to her because if she doesn't love me back, I don't know how to deal with that. If it will be devastating, can I find what I wanted this to be? Or is this the only chance I have? I just haven't reached that point were I just can't the it anymore.

[Bowyn Aerrow]

Hank.

You are in a natural place, a human place. Most humans are real good at hiding their anxieties, but we all end up in this place in one way or another.

I'm not going to lie to you and tell you there isn't a risk, because there is one (perhaps more than one). You might get hurt.

However, if you do not say something, take that risk, the regret will be a tight ball and through the years may consume you, and cause you to over look other possibilities.

I have a few regrets this way myself. Trust me, those are worse in many ways compared to the 'hurt' of being rejected.

I have read you on other threads, and I think I told you that if I was younger, I would seriously try to date you. You have a lot of wonderful, fine qualities you really do. If I can see them on a screen of print, I have to assume she sees them all too well with you there.

You are a good decent fellow. Take the chance. Lead with your heart.

[hank]

Its just so damned hard, I can handle her not wanting to date me, or see where love can go, I have just shared so much with her, I think it would break my heart if she said she never wanted to see me again as a friend, we are close friends. Just typing this hurts, I hate myself for waiting seventeen years to give this much thought to it. I would rather have her in my life than not there. Just considering her not being there is breaking my heart. I can't do this anymore, it just hurts toomuch. This is the first time I have cried in about three years.

[sillyboy86]

Gosh, I am in a similar situation, but I don't know if I love her. I have a very strong feeling with a friend, it's like a platonic love, we have the same passions, intellectual feeling, and recently I realize that we find inspiration in each other (we are artists, or we're trying to be artists...) etc etc.

I think you need to talk with her. There are risks, of course, but you are adult people and you are friends from a long time, I don't think one of you would broke your (friend) relationship easily...
I think that you should be carefully and don't do anything disperate or too much persistent.

You can say a white lie, like 'Recently I find you most interesting than in the past...' with caution. On the contrary, in case of refusal, or in both case, you will be determined and immediatly tell that your friendship is fundamental for you and that you accept her position.

Good luck, I hope to be useful at least a little.

[hank]

Gosh, I am in a similar situation, but I don't know if I love her. I have a very strong feeling with a friend, it's like a platonic love, we have the same passions, intellectual feeling, and recently I realize that we find inspiration in each other (we are artists, or we're trying to be artists...) etc etc.

I think you need to talk with her. There are risks, of course, but you are adult people and you are friends from a long time, I don't think one of you would broke your (friend) relationship easily...
I think that you should be carefully and don't do anything disperate or too much persistent.

You can say a white lie, like 'Recently I find you most interesting than in the past...' with caution. On the contrary, in case of refusal, or in both case, you will be determined and immediatly tell that your friendship is fundamental for you and that you accept her position.

Good luck, I hope to be useful at least a little.

Thanks it does help, its just so difficult talking to my friends, they are insisting on this being the cause of my bisexuality. It is absolutely not.