My son.

[concernedMum]

Jimbopdxus,
Thank you so much.
You are right.

I think I maybe focusing to heavily on the negative.
This website has been a god send.

[jimbopdxus]

Oh, and a parting shot before I disappear... When I offered to read to her the TV became something to dust. The little ones will ALWAYS want to be read to. And also remember, it is the PRIMARY duty for the grandparents to SPOIL the grandkids.

"Grandkids are the revenge of the parents upon the children!"

Enjoy your new and exciting life!

[SolemnBoy]

I don't really have anything to add to the conversation, but you seem to be doing a pretty amazing job as a mom. Your son is lucky!

[zeon]

Hello,
The whole acceptance of this is something men usually struggle with but you need to assure your husband that his son is still the same baby boy he raised and explain to him that being gay isnt a bad thing its just natures way of controlling population. Let him know that your and his son didnt choose his lifestyle it was implanted in him from instincts because what makes him him is what makes you you. In life we never wake up and decide we are going to be gay or straight it isnt a choice and if his forced into the closet it can lead to common issues such as self harm, suicide, depression, weight loss, lack of motivation etc etc..
With regards to your other son i will tell you about when i came out as gay because my mother loved it my brother didnt and my brother was simply told.... His still your brother your flesh and blood and if he has to accept your going to be going out and about in life meeting women and possibly having sex and respecting that then you simply son shine will accept your brother. His not going through a phase his not experiencing anything other than a normal comfortable life and if his happy with his life then why change it? Tell him there is a saying If it isnt broken then dont bother fixing it. Your brother isnt broken his fixed his strong and his done one thing im proud of him for and thats being able to accept himself and express himself freely and i treated you both equal in the past and nothing is going to change on that aspect...

Just stand by your son and tell your husband and his brother

[B]SOME PEOPLE ARE GAY GET OVER IT[B]

Kindest regards

Aunty Zeon
Gayspeak Agony Aunt

[zeon]

Jimbopdxus,
Thank you so much.
You are right.

I think I maybe focusing to heavily on the negative.
This website has been a god send.

Alternatively to educate them on what being gay might be like come to Brighton for a weekend Ill tell you when... 1st weekend in august friday sat n sunday u ur husband and ur sons should all come because thats when its brighton pride and we get loads of families come along. It used to be gay pride but its a community coming together to celebrate diversity within the society we live here... Street party, floats, music til 4am in the street also it may be an educational lesson for them. If they are worried tell them they got nothing to worry about because unlike some straight men gay men tend to respect a man is hetrosexual... You never know they might enjoy the night life and the whole community coming together experience and its called BRIGHTON PRIDE as its for EVERYONE!

[Rainbowmum]

Hello and welcome

First let me say you are a great mum supporting your son .
As a mother I can understand your concern ,and perhaps the hardest thing we have to do is let go.
I had an awful time of it , when my eldest son left home .(not that he knows anything about it.)

I think I would be a nervous wreck if i were in your shoes,but happy that my child has found happiness.
The great thing about weddings is that you will be gaining another son .

Talk to your son and let him know that you would like to be hands on in the preparation of his wedding ,that way you can meet the in-laws before hand , after all you will become family and even joint Grandparents .

Happy family events bring out the best in people rejoice in your sons happiness.
I am sure your future son in-laws parents are a tad bit worried as well.

[MisterTinkles]

Why do you care about "gay"? Why does your husband and other son care about "gay"??????

If this son is doing fine, living well, and happy.........THEN WHAT THE HELL IS THE PROBLEM?????

Would you rather your son be living as someone he isnt? Being extremely unhappy and miserable?
Living a lie? Possibly being a drug addict, alcoholic, or wife beater becasuse he's so unhappy?


This stuff really pisses me off to no end.

If you are really happy for your son, then the ONLY thing you would be grinding your teeth over would be him moving so far away. "Gay" wouldnt even be ANY kind of issue.....ever.

[HomeagainNYC]

This stuff really pisses me off to no end.

If you are really happy for your son, then the ONLY thing you would be grinding your teeth over would be him moving so far away. "Gay" wouldnt even be ANY kind of issue.....ever.

I think that perhaps you should re-read her post, as well as her comments throughout the entire thread. She is just trying to find her way in a new family dynamic - to my way of thinking she is a very strong and loving Mother.

She - does - accept, love and support her son and his choices; she has only stated the facts as she has lived them regarding her husband and other son - she has no control over their acceptance or non acceptance.

I think her concerns are consistent with her new reality and that she is trying to learn how to stay a part of her sons & his new partners life. That all.

[Kat]

I think I would treat my son's boyfriend the same as I would his girlfriend. He's 15 and, deciding if he is gay or bi, knows he isn't straight but not sure if the two girls he has gone out with were just attempts to fit in, or if he likes them as well as he does boys.

Gay, or bi isn't popular here either but, I do have a couple of gay friends and, I'm just going to take their advice and treat whoever he dates the same, no matter if they are boys or girls. If I make it okay, then it's okay for my son too, and if he is okay, his friends will be okay with him, at least I hope they will.

[concernedMum]

Thank you everybody, I have a lot to think about.

As long as my son and his partner is happy, then we can work through the other stuff.