1st Date Need Help/Advice

[outthecloset]

Hi everyone,

I heard about the app Grindr from this site and I heard bad things about but decided to try it anyway. I chatted with a couple weirdo's but this one guy was actually normal. We talked for hours about each other. Nothing dirty or anything like that. A real down to earth guy and we have everything in common. Come to find out he lives about 10 miles from me.

We hit it off and decided to go on a date tonight. Well I am a complete virgin. Never even kissed a guy, never been on any dates or anything. The date went well. We went eat a restaurant and carried a good conversation.

But when it came time to say goodbye, I realized I didn't really have the desire to kiss him. I had an awkward goodbye. I don't know if it's because i'm new to all this. If i was just out of my element and nervous.

I think he is very cute and i enjoy texting him. But that spark isn't there. Is it too early to tell? I know that when he texts me I smile when I read them and i look forward to him replying. If he takes too long to text back i get anxious. I am just wondering why the sexual attraction wasn't there. Any help or advise would be appreciated. Thanks

[Kat]

I believe in love at first sight, and only that. it's right or it isn't and, you know it right off. Was that way with my husband, and the guy I'm dating now. Said "hi" and that was that, it was right so, we went out a couple of times, just to keep it looking nice, then we slept together.

So I don't think it's too soon, if it didn't click, then it didn't, maybe the next one will.

You might just be being a shy virgin, if that's all it is, never know until you do it. So decide if you want the sex and are just nervous about your first time, or if it really didn't click with that guy and go from there.

[Rumble88]

If you liked this guy and if you spend some time with him then your feelings will change into something more intense. Take your time and don't push yourself over it.

[outthecloset]

Yeah, I guess. Its just before swe met in person, all we did was text and we seen each others facebook and all that. Anyway, before we meet in person there was this natural attraction between us, I honestly couldn't stop thinking about him. Now that the first date is done, it kind of went away. Maybe I'm kind of a hopeless romantic type and just think there should be more. But hey it might be normal, I just don't know...

[MisterTinkles]

Hi everyone,

I heard about the app Grindr from this site and I heard bad things about but decided to try it anyway. I chatted with a couple weirdo's but this one guy was actually normal. We talked for hours about each other. Nothing dirty or anything like that. A real down to earth guy and we have everything in common. Come to find out he lives about 10 miles from me.

We hit it off and decided to go on a date tonight. Well I am a complete virgin. Never even kissed a guy, never been on any dates or anything. The date went well. We went eat a restaurant and carried a good conversation.

But when it came time to say goodbye, I realized I didn't really have the desire to kiss him. I had an awkward goodbye. I don't know if it's because i'm new to all this. If i was just out of my element and nervous.

I think he is very cute and i enjoy texting him. But that spark isn't there. Is it too early to tell? I know that when he texts me I smile when I read them and i look forward to him replying. If he takes too long to text back i get anxious. I am just wondering why the sexual attraction wasn't there. Any help or advise would be appreciated. Thanks

Some people believe in "love at first sight", which is more of a physical features only thing.
I mean, how can you love somebody you dont know anything about? To me, its more of a "Im horny looking at you sight".

"Sparks" dont fly for all of us. Sometimes, if we like to be careful and sure of things we do in our lives, then we know we have to get to know someone first, before anything happens.
An unfortunately, gay society has brainwashed itself that sex is the ONLY thing you date for, and if it doesnt happen on the first date, consider yourself dumped.

No, it doesnt happen all the time, but this is the "normal" mentality of gay society.
Personally, I have to have at least three dates before I even consider sex. I like hand holding and hugging to start off with, and work up to kissing.

Just because you dont feel anything now, doesnt mean you wont 6 months down the road.

What you have to look out for are the players, headgamers, liars, and cheats. Ive only gone out with two men in my life who WERE NOT like this.

Im not saying this guy is like that, and Im not saying he isnt going to dump you because you didnt kiss or have sex on the first date....but just be careful.

Get to know the other guy first, before you make any decisions. A player will try and force or sway you into his way of thinking, and try to get what he wants from you, then you never hear from him again.

A liar never tells the truth about anything. EVER. And again, they say and do anything that will get you to do what they want, then they disappear off the face of the earth.

Cheats...these can range from guys who are married and dont tell you, to guys on the rebound who dont tell you, to guys who only want to date you to steal your stuff out of your house. Again....saying and doing anything to get what they want, then disappear off the face of the earth.

The decent guy, will give you the time you need to adjust yourself to dating or being with another perosn. A decent guy will understand and accept. A decent guy will tell you what he's thinking and feeling when needed. A decent guy will not take advantage of a situation or make you feel like you are being used or lied too.

You have to take care of yourself, because nobody else will.

[outthecloset]

Some people believe in "love at first sight", which is more of a physical features only thing.
I mean, how can you love somebody you dont know anything about? To me, its more of a "Im horny looking at you sight".

"Sparks" dont fly for all of us. Sometimes, if we like to be careful and sure of things we do in our lives, then we know we have to get to know someone first, before anything happens.
An unfortunately, gay society has brainwashed itself that sex is the ONLY thing you date for, and if it doesnt happen on the first date, consider yourself dumped.

No, it doesnt happen all the time, but this is the "normal" mentality of gay society.
Personally, I have to have at least three dates before I even consider sex. I like hand holding and hugging to start off with, and work up to kissing.

Just because you dont feel anything now, doesnt mean you wont 6 months down the road.

What you have to look out for are the players, headgamers, liars, and cheats. Ive only gone out with two men in my life who WERE NOT like this.

Im not saying this guy is like that, and Im not saying he isnt going to dump you because you didnt kiss or have sex on the first date....but just be careful.

Get to know the other guy first, before you make any decisions. A player will try and force or sway you into his way of thinking, and try to get what he wants from you, then you never hear from him again.

A liar never tells the truth about anything. EVER. And again, they say and do anything that will get you to do what they want, then they disappear off the face of the earth.

Cheats...these can range from guys who are married and dont tell you, to guys on the rebound who dont tell you, to guys who only want to date you to steal your stuff out of your house. Again....saying and doing anything to get what they want, then disappear off the face of the earth.

The decent guy, will give you the time you need to adjust yourself to dating or being with another perosn. A decent guy will understand and accept. A decent guy will tell you what he's thinking and feeling when needed. A decent guy will not take advantage of a situation or make you feel like you are being used or lied too.

You have to take care of yourself, because nobody else will.

Wow, that helped me a lot and makes me feel a lot better. As I have said I have no experience but that being said I really think he is this "decent" guy. We talk ourselves to sleep, well text ourselves to sleep everynight. I know all about his family and siblings, past relationship that he was in for six years. and he knows all about me. I think the amount of information we shared is to much to be a lie. And I'm not some hot guy who is worth the trouble of being lied to get in my pants.

Also I do agree, I would not consider having sex with him til at least 3 dates. Hugging and kissing maybe. We do have a lot in common and he has a good head on his shoulders. He has a great job and loving family. He paid for everything last night, wouldn't let me pay for dinner. And he has told me over and over again that he wants to move at my pace. He understands that I have this shell on me and says thats fine. He isn't rushing me at all and lets me do almost all the decision making, which I enjoy because I like being in control. Hehe!

But thanks a ton, I think as you said, the attration will get better as time goes on. Thanks again

[MisterTinkles]

Wow, that helped me a lot and makes me feel a lot better. As I have said I have no experience but that being said I really think he is this "decent" guy. We talk ourselves to sleep, well text ourselves to sleep everynight. I know all about his family and siblings, past relationship that he was in for six years. and he knows all about me. I think the amount of information we shared is to much to be a lie. And I'm not some hot guy who is worth the trouble of being lied to get in my pants.

Also I do agree, I would not consider having sex with him til at least 3 dates. Hugging and kissing maybe. We do have a lot in common and he has a good head on his shoulders. He has a great job and loving family. He paid for everything last night, wouldn't let me pay for dinner. And he has told me over and over again that he wants to move at my pace. He understands that I have this shell on me and says thats fine. He isn't rushing me at all and lets me do almost all the decision making, which I enjoy because I like being in control. Hehe!

But thanks a ton, I think as you said, the attration will get better as time goes on. Thanks again

Something else Ive seen in my life.......and this works for anyone from any walk of life or lifestyle...

Decent, honest people make great friends.
Great friends make wonderful lovers.
Wonderful lovers make a happy relationship.

Sounds like you gusy are on the right path.

[Undreamt]

ifyou want a relationship to be normal then you will always be dissapointeed,

maybe you are putting too much expectation into things, do what you want to do and enjoy yourself

[Spades]

My advice would be to go on a couple more dates with him, see if your feelings toward him change. If it does not; be up front and honest with him. If he is decent; have the decency to tell him and perhaps you can remain friends. But what ever happens, don't feel forced into anything and keep to your moral code

[ThatRobGuy]

If he is a good guy and you have a lot in common and click personality-wise, my advice would be to give it another date or two and decide from there how you feel.

Attraction is what separates a friend from a lover, and maybe he is just potentially a new friend and not lover material. There is nothing wrong with that, but you don't want to force yourself into a relationship with someone who doesn't fulfill your romantic needs.