I have a baritone (deep) voice and can sing bass - I sing poorly, thus am often asked to sing solo - solo you can't hear me. :tongue:
I do not swish, I do not have limp wrists. I walk like a man, talk like a man and only use the word Fa-bu-lous when I am trying to be funny (it actually scares people when I try to do that nelly-queen impression :biggrin
![Smile Smile](https://gayspeak.com/images/smilies/smile.png)
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I also failed interior design, I think plaid is a great color that goes with everything, and I drove a 4 wheel drive truck. I know an engine well enough to keep it running, and I also
like to hunt, fish and do other 'straight' activities.
I am not alone, plenty of gay men are like me, we don't meet the stereotype casting of 'homosexual' and we are called 'straight-acting' by the majority of people. Some call it 'butch' others call it 'masculine'.
Its not an act, its just me being me.
Unfortunately society has painted a very narrow picture of what 'homosexual' means. And the media makes it worse by promoting this 'image' of 'metro-sexual, effeminate, swishy' gay male in TV and movies.
The truth is 'gay' comes in a lot more packages and personality types than the media and popular society myths will tell you.
Like you I prefer other straight acting men, or masculine or 'butch' whatever word you want to use. It is a preference, no different than my preference for men taller than me, men with body hair, men who oh ride horses, can hunt/fish and appreciate the great outdoors.
How hard should you apply 'rules' to 'your man' along these lines? Depends on you really.
I went though 14 long, quiet downright nice years with a shorter than me, more effeminate than I prefer man. In my mine they were chiefly good years. Unfortunately he needed more than I could give him and tended to like lots of sex - lots of sex with lots of other men...
So it wasn't femininity, or shortness or other physical characteristics that broke the relationship, it was needs/wants and behaviors that ultimately did the relationship in.
Is your preference for more masculine guys shallow? I don't think so. Yes a lot of gays will be offended - that is on them, not on you. But then they have their 'dream ideals' of what they want in a guy (a nice package, abs, black hair/blue eyes - whatever) their wants/desires in their ideal mate is no more shallow than yours.
Since you are still in the closet, I think your desire for a straight acting man may feel safer as you know you can be in public with him and its not obvious he is gay, thus not obvious you are gay.
Perhaps if you were a bit more open and out of the closet your comfort levels with his 'obvious gayness' would be less of a 'thing' for you.
I bet your constantly checking yourself wondering if you just said or did something to signal to the world 'I'm queer'. If so, then that is what is most likely the real problem.