Like I say, we've known each other a year, and have been dating 3-4 weeks.
I'm curious about signals he might be sending. I know the basic ones to watch for: holding my gaze, looking at my lips, making excuses for physical contact (which is the only thing I've REALLY noticed since we moved out of the "friend zone"), but there's one other thing I'm curious about, and I thought nothing of it until now:
Perhaps twice, when one of us would lean over to whisper something in the other's ear, he'd made a point to rest his forehead against mine. The second movie we went to, he pressed his cheek against mine for the same sort of reason.
Neither of us is very "experienced" dating-wise, so I'm curious - does this sound like a "wants to be kissed" signal?
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If neither of you are very experienced, and are out of the "friend zone", I say get some experience. If you want to kiss, and he's not saying, "you're stepping on my toe," or a similarly disrupting thing, and if he isn't crawling up the walls to get away, and he's not holding you at arm's length, kiss him if you want. More than likely, if he doesn't want it, he will try to stop it.
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The worst thing you can do is nothing.
The amount of awkwardness, embarressment and missed opportunities I have caused by not saying or doing something is countless.
If your not going to act just ask him.
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Hmm, makes sense I guess. I am semi-experienced (initiated several first kisses before), but this is the first time I've tried dating someone who was already a good friend.
He's a really shy guy, but pretty up-front if we're alone, so I am pondering just asking him outright, (or beat around the bush a LITTLE), I just worry that might spoil the "magic" romantic moment, and replace it with I diplomatic "so it's agreed: I'm going to press my lips against yours."
But who knows, I know I'm over-thinking this, but I really, really, REALLY don't want to do anything that could put the possibility of "us" in jeopardy.
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Just by worrying about it, you put the relationship in jeopardy. I don't mean to freak you out further, but you should relax and enjoy being with him more than stress about making every moment "perfect", whatever the hell that is.
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Counselor Wrote:Just by worrying about it, you put the relationship in jeopardy. I don't mean to freak you out further, but you should relax and enjoy being with him more than stress about making every moment "perfect", whatever the hell that is.
You are right, and I know all that. And in any other relationship I've been in, I never worried about this stuff, because I only knew those people as dates. But THIS guy, I've already had a year to develop limerance!
Use a house of cards as a metaphor. With any other guy I've dated, I started from scratch, and if it fell down, who cared - it only had 6-7 cards anyway. But this time, I've been building for a while, and I feel like if I make one false move the whole thing will come tumbling down.
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GO FOR IT!!! It sounds like he wants more and so do you. Forget asking him, just kiss him on the cheek next time you say goodbye. If he responds, take it further. Stop over thinking it and DO something!
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jsprplc2006 Wrote:You are right, and I know all that. And in any other relationship I've been in, I never worried about this stuff, because I only knew those people as dates. But THIS guy, I've already had a year to develop limerance!
Use a house of cards as a metaphor. With any other guy I've dated, I started from scratch, and if it fell down, who cared - it only had 6-7 cards anyway. But this time, I've been building for a while, and I feel like if I make one false move the whole thing will come tumbling down.
You should also check that mindset that you are the only one building. You built that foundation TOGETHER, and together you can achieve what you've both struggled to build on your own.
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Counselor Wrote:You should also check that mindset that you are the only one building. You built that foundation TOGETHER, and together you can achieve what you've both struggled to build on your own.
Touche. I sometimes forget about that. Maybe it's just my pessimism, but early on in relationships I usually convince myself that I'm more interested in them than they are in me, which I do realize makes no sense.
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You don't....unless you try.
Mick
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How do I know if he wants to be kissed?
