Should I give him a chance even if I'm almost sure I'll never like him back?

[SolemnBoy]

Okay, first of all, I feel really silly and stupid for asking about advice for this, but I've never been involved in anything romantic so I need some opinions...

A few days ago my friend took me to the cinema. He said it was as thanks for helping him out with some school stuff earlier and I believed him because going to see a movie with a friend is hardly suspicious or anything. As it turned out however, he had some "romantic intentions" that I ended up rejecting because I've known him for well over a year and I don't have any feelings like that for him.

I was careful to be nice in my rejection, yet now he's acting like I'm breaking his heart and ruining his life for not giving him a chance. Somehow he's under the impression that I'm obligated to love him just because he's been kind to me which is ridiculous.

The thing is, I've always had the attitude that "if anyone asks me out on a date I'll accept it because everyone deserves at least a chance if they worked up the courage". However, I already KNOW this person which means I'm very certain that I'll never have any stronger feelings for him. Should I give him a chance anyways even if I'm extremely likely to just reject him after a few dates and cause even more pain?

Also: It's funny how people get extremely selfish and irrational when it comes to love. Words cannot explain how much the "I've been kind to you but you won't love me therefore you're evil!" mentality annoys me.

Help please? :/

[Counselor]

Don't do it. I'd you give him a chance now, he'll be angry when it ends, and you'll be the one that has to end it, so you'll be the bad guy. He'll do anything to get you, and everything to keep you, including guilt-trips.

[SolemnBoy]

Don't do it. I'd you give him a chance now, he'll be angry when it ends, and you'll be the one that has to end it, so you'll be the bad guy. He'll do anything to get you, and everything to keep you, including guilt-trips.

Thanks for the answer. I'm pretty sure that's the best thing to do but I still needed some confirmation. I can't believe I'm being antagonized because I kindly declined, but oh well :/

[LateBloomer]

I agree you shouldn't follow up on the date, mostly because you need to be true to YOURSELF first.

Dating (contrary to popular practice) is best done from an honest standpoint.

Furthermore, you're both quite young, but your friend still has a lesson to learn here. He needs to know what it feels like to pursue someone and be rejected. Right now he's not handling it so well, but over time, after this happens a few more times hopefully he'll learn how to handle it gracefully and diplomatically, like an adult.

Good luck.

[SolemnBoy]

I agree you shouldn't follow up on the date, mostly because you need to be true to YOURSELF first.

Dating (contrary to popular practice) is best done from an honest standpoint.

Furthermore, you're both quite young, but your friend still has a lesson to learn here. He needs to know what it feels like to pursue someone and be rejected. Right now he's not handling it so well, but over time, after this happens a few more times hopefully he'll learn how to handle it gracefully and diplomatically, like an adult.

Good luck.

Thanks. Even if I know I'm doing nothing wrong, it still feels kind of bad. I've never really hurt anyone before. But you're right of course!

We have some common friends though, but hopefully he'll at least be able to not spread lies about what actually happened.

[Counselor]

Thanks for the answer. I'm pretty sure that's the best thing to do but I still needed some confirmation. I can't believe I'm being antagonized because I kindly declined, but oh well :/

Oh, I believe it. The tack is to make you feel bad that you said no, so you'll agree to "try it out". What he's doing is looking for someone to control with his ploys, and this method is the most irritating thing in existence. I deal with guilt trips very poorly, when someone deliberately tries to prey on my morals, I get quite angry.

[stu]

If he has been a good friend the least he deserves is for you to be honest with him. For the same reason you may choose to put up with a certain amount of his stupidity.

[SolemnBoy]

If he has been a good friend the least he deserves is for you to be honest with him. For the same reason you may choose to put up with a certain amount of his stupidity.

I've been very honest. But he couldn't handle it very well. He implied he'd kill himself but of course I didn't believe him. Even if it still kind of terrifies me. I know he wouldn't do it out of sadness but I can't help but think "what if he gets angry enough to go through with it just to make me regret things". I really feel bad about this, I've always done my best not to hurt anyone :/

I guess all I can hope for is that being overly dramatic, possessive and downright insane romantically are teenage traits that I'll never have to deal with again.

[pellaz]

... but I've never been involved in anything romantic ... /

you cant love all of gods creations but you might be more accepting because love finds it's way into people's lives so odd.

[HomeagainNYC]

I think you handled this quite well. If you did go out with him a second time - no telling what he may make that into.

You have done nothing to feel bad for; you accepted an invitation to go to the movies - that was it. He's the one who neglected to tell you that he considered it a date.

When you expressed how you felt about the situation, you were kind and respectful, which was the mature way of handling it.

Remember you did not hurt him; he hurt himself by not being upfront with you about why he asked you to the cinema. When you run into him don't behave anyway other than you did before. It’s his issues to work out.