I need to lose weight, but I'm close to give up

[Aquarius]

Hey again

I used to be at 87 kilos last autumn, when I had to leave the gym (I was there only for some weeks) because of health issues that probably came from the muscle workout itself.
Right afterwards, a series of family birthday parties and christmas followed, and lots of visits at my family, friends, or vice versa, and bang I went up 10 kilos.

It's not that I can't accept myself as I am, it's more that the additional fat makes me feel uncomfortable and old.

It's always the same, I'm motivating myself to do some workout, eat more healthy, I keep it up for a few weeks, and then something will come and my whole discipline literally derails.

The thing is, I don't have a constant enough daily life. I'm alone for some weeks, then my mum visits for some weeks, then I'm at my parents for some weeks, then I'm alone again... it's nothing to build a routine on.

I could get myself to go for long walks at whatever place, but I can't do anything against my unhealthy eating habits. Eating is like the only bodily joy for me, as my sexual drive is very low and jerking off doesn't make me as happy as eating fastfood does.

I don't know where to get motivation from, as every prospect depresses me:
Looking at the mirror depresses me, looking at the scales depresses me, having to get myself to workout depresses me, the imagination of having to eat healthy completely freaks me out.

I know well how to lose weight, I know what works for me, but I don't find the motivation anymore because I know I won't be able to keep it up, due to my irregular life situation.

I don't know if anyone of you can really help me there, but even if I just get some replies, it will work as a reminder for me that I need to do something.

[LJay]

Knowing what I do know about the relationship between physical and mental health, I would go to the best medical doctor and also the best mental health therapist I could find and I would to these things immediately. I would also hire a personal trainer and a nutritionist who are willing to work with the others.

[Camfer]

Sounds like you have a food addiction to fast food in particular. You've discovered that diets don't work and exercising for just a short time doesn't work. Then you blame changing circumstances for being unable to change.

Your daily eating habits are largely to blame. Gradual changes to what you eat will make it easier to develop healthy eating habits. If you're addicted to fast food, then limit it to once a week. Drink only water, and tea and coffee without milk or sugar. Avoid sugary drinks and alcohol. Try shopping the farmers market instead of the supermarket. They don't sell a lot of junk food at a farmers market.

Over time you can actually begin to get addicted to healthy food, because it satisfies your cravings more. It becomes its own reward. Healthy eating is great!

For exercise, start more slowly so you don't overdo it and get injured. I like your idea of long walks. It will bring you some joy to be outside.

Your body and mind reflect what you do now. It's going to take some time for you to change your lifestyle. Make sustainable changes in how you live and you will make progress.

[Insertnamehere]

If you know what to do, then you know what to do.

How to do it and stick to it? The thing is, not everyone can stick to it all the time. I certainly can't.

I don't like working out. I cringe at the prospect of getting home from work and having to do that.

I only do it because I said to myself a while ago that I had to. I'm hardly ever motivated to do it, so motivation is not what drives me to be more or less constant with it. Even so, sometimes I get off the tracks. I start again and keep at it, that's it. I don't focus on what will be the next time I fail miserably, I just think about the work out I will do on that particular day.

About food, it's hard for me to control what I eat. I try to, but it's not a successful attempt every time. You have to make your peace with that and realize you won't be perfect all the time in controlling yourself. But, don't let that stop you from trying. If you manage to do it 3 days and then the next 4 no, that's fine. That's 3 days where you did what was right. Now start again. And again. And again. Having these little bits of time where you do the right choices is still better than never doing it at all. And in time, you will begin to make these right choices more often.

So, my advice to you is do it and don't question it, give it enough time before you decide it's a fail. Don't think about the next time you will fail, cause chances are you will fail (as I have failed many times), just do it and if you fail, resume. You WILL at some point be able to stabilize the situation and become more constant.

[matty7]

I agree with Camfer - if you change your habits slowly then they become the normal for you , the less you eat fast food as an example then the less you will crave it over time.....you'll eventually pass MacDonald's etc. without the steering wheel automatically aiming for the drive though - you will view it and other bad eating habits as a treat and not the normal

[Cridders88]

Agreed with [MENTION=23097]Insertnamehere[/MENTION]. Don't focus on previous failings. If I had done that, I would never have lost the weight that I did. Something snapped within me and I managed to eventually get the weight off. Was I on the wagon every day? Hell no. I had good days and bad days eating wise. When I became used to eating the healthy stuff more and ENJOYING eating it, I had more good days. But never be too hard on yourself for having a unhealthy day every now and then. It will happen, it did happen to me, and the weight still came off.

To lose the weight, I didn't even exercise much, if at all, I did it through diet somehow. It is very tough, especially at first, but if you allow yourself some of the fatty foods still it does make it a little easier than being too strict on yourself. I do exercise more now that I have lost the weight, because I feel fitter and more able to, and now want to tone up a bit. Consequently, since I have been going to the gym I have started feeling more hungry and eating a lot more. I need to curb this again, but I am not going to beat myself up about the several pounds I have put on in the last month. It about starting again as Insert said. And expect to have a bad day of eating again. It is not a fail, it is just an inevitable part of the process and probably a good thing because boy you end up feeling like giving up very quickly if you don't allow for those days.

Keep trying Felix. That's all I can say really. I wish you all the best in reaching your goals of weight loss

[LJay]

Congratulations to all of you who are working on your health, weight and fitness. Even if it is a walk down the block and back, doing something is worthwhile. I read recently that new cases of type 2 diabetes are a bit fewer these days. Pat yourselves on the back and keep at it. YOU are the reason for those figures.

[Aquarius]

Thanks guys...
I decided to take a walk every day when it's not raining, and maybe later even then, and for now avoid cola and beer.
I only drink coffee without milk and sugar anyway, because I like it better that way.. and I never use butter on bread either.

Cridders, I'd like to know how not to eat it all up, once opening a bag of cookies or so

[Cridders88]

Thanks guys...
I decided to take a walk every day when it's not raining, and maybe later even then, and for now avoid cola and beer.
I only drink coffee without milk and sugar anyway, because I like it better that way.. and I never use butter on bread either.

Cridders, I'd like to know how not to eat it all up, once opening a bag of cookies or so

Good to see you are putting some steps into place

I know your last sentence is a bit tongue in cheek, but in reality, boy is that hard thing to do lol. The trick is, to only buy that bag of cookies once every few weeks. Then it won't matter if you scoff them all :biggrin:. Which was exactly the main point of my post really

[Jake]

Hey again
I know well how to lose weight, I know what works for me, but I don't find the motivation anymore because I know I won't be able to keep it up, due to my irregular life situation.

I don't know if anyone of you can really help me there, but even if I just get some replies, it will work as a reminder for me that I need to do something.

Nobody can help you. At least not online. You come here stating the obvious that you already know. You know what are your problems and you know what are the solutions. NOBODY from this forum will ever be able to help you beside giving you power words... but that's it, they're just words. Words means nothing if there's no actions attached to them. So, first step for you is to stop whining and coming online shouting your problems and take real "physical" actions about your issues. YOU KNOW the solution already, you just ignore the steps. Sorry! I am not the kind of guy to be just nice and dandy... just do what you have to do and bring good news. Stop complaining. And all of you congratulating on meaningful accomplishments. STFU - you're not helping! You're lying... first the ops knows what he's doing wrong and you just fuel it with your goodies two shoes bullshit. Welcome to the real world.

You don't like what I'm saying? Fine just don't thanks me or like me for it. I don't care. I'm just going to debunk you all with your bullshit and bring you back to reality.

- And yes I am Jake and I'm back and beware I have no patience for bullshit, I will call you all out on it. Alex says hi to you all but he won't be coming online this time... we have way too many children to care for